Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Thoughts from the not-so-home stretch

Greetings from your intrepid blogger.  I'm loving the fact that my local weather still hovers in the 70s, meaning I can wear my beloved FitFlops without worry of cold weather.  As luck would have it, I'm attempting to get some advanced planning and schoolwork done before D-Day only to find blogging a more desirable alternative.  Obviously, the baby hasn't arrived yet.  She hasn't even caused a contraction, so I'm beginning to think she has inherited my tendency towards procrastination.

We had a scare last week at my weekly appointment.  The ultrasound revealed low (but not dangerously) amniotic fluid.  The doctor ordered me to cease all intense activity and drink about 80 oz of water a day.  So last week became more low-key than originally planned.  It nearly drove me crazy, but the possibility of total bedrest (not my favorite option) loomed as the next step.  Thankfully, this past Monday's ultrasound revealed that the fluid had increased to a safer level.  Deo Gratias!

One of the major struggles I've had during this pregnancy is accepting the normal fears and anxieties as normal.  Instead, the effects of IF chastise me constantly: "Come on, this is what you always wanted... There are many other people that want this more than you..."  Many of pregnancy's crosses (heartburn, loss of sleep, achiness, etc.) have been harder to endure, as if there is something inside preventing these normal feelings of anxiety.  And don't get me started on the thoughts of "Am I really ready to become a mother?  How in the world will I care for a newborn?  What if my baby hates me?"  Again, according to the preggo books, such thoughts are normal.  Yet for an IF survivor, it's hard to give yourself permission to acknowledge their normalcy.  Does that make sense?  I say this often and will say it again: when the various pregnancy unpleasantries do occur, I pray for my IF sisters who are still waiting.  That will never change. 

This past Sunday our dear pastor gave me the Anointing of the Sick to help me prepare for the upcoming labor and childbirth.  All I can say is WOW!!  What an incredible sacrament.  The burdens that weighed so heavily became lighter.  Truly, I felt the strength to endure the days ahead.  I'm so glad that the Church allows people to receive the sacrament before surgery, etc. instead of only just before death as in years past.

In my next post, I will ask for any prayer petitions that you would like me to intercede for during labor & delivery.  So get those lists ready!!

p.s.  I hope to wear flip flops in November!! Ha.


WheelbarrowRider said...
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WheelbarrowRider said...

It is good to hear from you. I have always followed you closely as our due dates are so close. I am currently 38.5 weeks. I never had early contractions with my first (normal I am told) but have them all the time with this one. However, they are BH and go nowhere and don't help to dilate me or anything so they just add to the "is it time yet?" that has been on my mind way too often. Btw, the thoughts you mentioned, def had those too with #1 so I can relate. For some reason I keep thinking this baby will be early, which does not help me pass the time. But #1 was 1 week late and that or on time is really a good sign. I am sorry to hear about the low fluid-scary, but awesome your doc even scanned you so late-you are in good hands! I am glad it is better now! I have had the sacrament of healing as soon as I got pregnant with this one and Charlie and what a blessing it has been! You will be fine in childbirth. Would love to hear your birth plan when you ask for intentions.