Thursday, November 19, 2009

Blonde hair, Black hair and Little hands

This past Tuesday night I attended a special Mass for healing. (I prayed for you, my IF friends!). Sitting in the few in front of me was a Caucasian couple with 3 beautiful Chinese daughters. At one point, the youngest girl rested on her mother's lap, wrapping her little arms around her neck. The little hands began to play with her mom's blond hair. I was struck at the contrast of blond and black hair colors, but at the same time the incredible bond between the two of them. Anyone could look at them and surmise that they are mother and daughter. They may look different on the outside, but the familial love just seem to radiate. I looked at the little girl with longing, the same longing I used to have at watching mothers hold their newborn babies.

To me, that really indicates that our desire to adopt is very alive and well. My desire to lose this weight and bring our child home has become stronger than a desire to get pregnant. Maybe it's the pessimist in me, or perhaps God's way of preparing me for the embrace of adoption.

My two cousins were adopted from South America over 18 years ago. One of them told me recently that he still sees himself as Slovak (my dad's side of the family), despite his very obvious Latin American ancestry. I in turn always thought of him and his sister as my cousins, not very different from me. The whole idea that they were adopted really disappeared after a while. :)

Seeing that mother and child on Tuesday night awakened a new excitement in me. I know the same will happen with our child; the outward differences will give way to the love of a family.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Picture of the Day...


My husband and I attended a benefit dinner on Saturday night for our local crisis pregnancy help center. This was one of the items I won in a silent auction. Everyone needs bright colors on a Monday!

Monday, November 9, 2009

For another blogger, answered prayers....

Congratulations to Grace In My Heart, who is about to adopt a beautiful baby boy. She's had quite a journey, including a failed adoption. For her and her husband to arrive at this day is an extra special joy.

I really love the online Catholic IF community. We cry with those who miscarry or are gripping with despair, sympathize with the numerous medical and adoption-related setbacks, AND rejoice when one of our own finally becomes a mother. :)

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Here comes the Femara *UPDATE

So far, the only side effect I've felt is intense nausea. It began around mid-morning and stayed throughout the day. As long as my stomach stayed full, the feeling stayed away. This evening I ate a whole bag of saltin.es crackers!

Blood Test Buddy was told by the doctor that she could divide the Femara into 2 doses. Keep in mind that over 1000mg of hormones go into your body at once...so dividing seemed like a reasonable option. I took the other 4 pills a few minutes ago, so we'll see how I feel tomorrow. Some women have night sweats with this drug; we'll see if that happens. Femara also causes drowsiness.

Blood Test Buddy informed me that our HCG injections cost have recently risen from $50 to $75. *sigh* always something.

Finally, in a bit of a soap-opera type scenario, I stopped at the pharmacy to pick up Clomid and crackers. Somehow I thought my doctor had asked me to take both (TCIE has repeatedly pointed out that it didn't seem right). Sure enough, the pharmacist pulled up my prescription on the computer and said the doctor only called in Femara. I called the doctor's office only to find out that he wasn't in the office today. Oh well; I feel more comfortable taking Femara on its own (thanks, TCIE!) :)

Thanks to everyone for your prayers & encouragement.
* * * * * * * *
Well, you may recall from last month that I opted not to take Femara (a Clo.mid alternative) due to my college reunion. Blood Test Buddy became VERY ill from the Femara and I didn't want to take any chances that the same could happen at the reunion. I don't regret the decision, but 1 month later CD 2 has arrived. However, that lovely $50 bag of 9 pills still sits on my desk. My wonderful, loving husband even suggested that I don't take the meds. He knows my fears. Of course, several of you commented that Femara did nothing to your body. I had zero side effects from Clomi.d but still worry about what Femara will do. Looks like I will take the plunge and take the meds, ready to tell the doctor "never again" if this stuff doesn't work.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Outstanding article on Infertility

A priest recently wrote an article on his observations of the Catholic teachings on infertility. He really gets it! I really appreciate his understanding and compassion for couples enduring IF. Thank you, Sew, for posting this article on your blog!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Cupcakes!

My school meets two days a week, so my 4th graders had their Halloween/Harvest party yesterday. We all decorated cupcakes with much flair:


Once again, Blogger has messed up the formatting of my photo. The Scarecrow cupcakes came out very nicely. I wish I could take credit for the idea, but the decor came from a cupcake book. We used Ra.men no.odles for the beard & hair. :)

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Back in the Saddle Again

Well, I returned from a relaxing and wonderful trip to California. The jet lag is still with me, but so are many happy memories with family and friends. One of my friends encouraged me to send a format of the SHE group to my old diocese in the hopes of starting a group there. We'll see if I can get things going.

One of my favorite home-in-California rituals is to visit the many restaurants and stores that we do not have here in Kentucky. Oh, the sadness of a Californian in exile to be deprived of Jamba Juice, In N'Out Burger, See's Candies (a family tradition!), authentic Mexican food, and Trader Joe's (the nearest one is in Cincinnati).

Yes, I have become one of those bloggers who takes pictures of meals! Oh well, In'N'Out Burger is a California institution. They also have Bible verse citations written on the bottom of the cups and hamburger wrappers. Of course, I also had to take a picture of this portable yogurt bar at a mall; it is SO Californian. I would never find something like that here:


Besides getting some quality time with my parents, I really enjoyed catching up with longtime friends. One of the highlights was getting together with a loving and holy family from my youth ministry days. The father of the family recently became a deacon. He spent some time praying with me for healing. He said something that I would like to share with all of you IF friends: "God is closer than you think. Sometimes He's so close you don't realize that He's there."
'
Such true words, especially on those days when we feel ill from the umpteenth medicine, endure another failed medical procedure, encounter another adoption setback, or have to silently weep while watching young families at Mass. He is closer than we think.