Friday, July 9, 2010

Thoughts On Finding Out...

Some time ago I meant to write a post about this topic, but like many blog post topics, it fell by the wayside. At least this week I can claim the excuse of a catching a sinus infection just after the 4th of July.  And just a disclaimer: I composed this post 2 hours ago before reading Wheelbarrow Rider's excellent post on her little one on the way.  This is not a response, just my musings.  As an added bonus, today I got to have caffeine, which always helps the words to flow more freely. ha!

I haven’t posted any pregnant belly pictures yet because there really isn’t one. Prior to pregnancy I had dropped some pounds, but not enough to make my tummy flat. Now at 21 weeks, I don’t look all that pregnant. The PA at my doctor’s office even asked me yesterday, “You’re pregnant, right?” Still, I’m sure the belly is coming one of these days, so I will post a picture when that happens. My appetite is slowly returning, which ought to help my hubby, who has been heroically finishing my meals!

One of the questions we have been asked frequently is, “Will you find out the gender of the baby?” Every couple needs to answer this question on their own. I definitely admire the couples that choose to wait.  For my husband and me, we both agreed the answer was YES. I personally wanted a deeper connection to the baby by knowing its gender and calling it by name. The control-freak, planner side of me also liked the idea of knowing which colors to buy (not just pink, but colors that coordinate with it).

Something else that surprised me was an instant bond that formed upon finding out about our little girl. I had approached the first 12 weeks of pregnancy with caution, fear, and a bit of distance. Yes, joy became mixed in there, but fear was ever prevalent. The pessimistic and control freak side (see a pattern here?) wanted to be ready in case of miscarriage, since I had assumed I would never get pregnant. Again, these feelings are common in women who get pregnant after IF. However, something changed upon seeing our baby girl on the fuzzy ultrasound screen. I felt more like she was mine. Recently she has started to kick a bit, which makes it even more real.  Like I said, this is my personal experience.  As any pregnancy book will point out, each pregnancy and baby is different.

And with every kick, please know that I am praying for my IF friends. :)

p.s.  Here are the cupcakes I made for a 4th of July party.  I love experimenting with frosting colors.

8 comments:

Ryan Ann said...

I too would have to know ... I don't know how people do it. :D

Maureen said...

It was nice to hear your thoughts. I never thought of you as much of a "control freak" but then again, anyone who has had experience teaching, has "controlling" tendencies.

From my personal experience, I feel that achieving a pregnancy after waiting so long creates a very special bond with the baby. This bond endures even when the baby "grows up". Yes, you are still my "little girl" :-)

Love the cupcakes!!!!

WheelbarrowRider said...

I am so glad you wrote your thoughts on this topic, I am always interested in others' experiences and reasoning behind this topic. Like I said on my post, we were actually shocked we didn't want to know, so we can relate with the "other side" too. :) The cupcakes look great, I wish I had more cooking skills!

the misfit said...

I've always thought that I would definitely found out, just because I've never heard of any reason that would persuade me not to. (I never find the reasons for waiting persuasive, but if they persuade the parents, then fine.) And the wanting to get the room ready makes perfect sense to me. (Any home-decor-related reasoning carries a lot of water with me! Ha!)

I'm glad you've reached the stage where you can enjoy your pregnancy without worrying so much about miscarriage.

mrsblondies said...

Glad you shared your thoughts on finding out. It's definitely a personal decision and there's no right or wrong thing to do. I'm glad you are feeling more comfortable and not quite as fearful in your pregnancy.

Leila @ Little Catholic Bubble said...

It's all so exciting, and I am glad you were able to find out, and that the kicking has begun!

Joy Beyond the Cross said...

The cupcakes are cool! I love doing food related festive stuff for the holidays. My husband and I are in the camp of not wanting to find out (God willing we have that choice to make), but I say it depends on the couple and I think either way is fine. My friend forwarded me a link to an interview with you on Catholic Mom. It was fun to say that I "knew" you - from this blogger circle that is! God Bless you and your dear little one - grow, baby, grow!!!

Percolating Petals said...

Aww, thanks!! :)