Every year, a dreaded holiday arrives that brings sorrow to my infertile heart: Mothers' Day. My Mom lives on the other side of the country; I'm sure if she lived closer, the day would be easier.
All my engineered efforts to avoid baby showers and the like do not work on Mothers' Day. Blood Test Buddy shared with me her tears at reading a card for "the Mother to-be." From Wal-Mart to the florist, reminders of motherhood are everywhere. Such reminders scream to me, "See! You're not a mother! You can't have all of this!"
My tactic for the past years has been avoidance. I even read about this in a Catholic infertility booklet. Last year my husband was in Japan on Mothers' Day. I was too scared to attend Mass and sit through a blessing of mothers. So I went out of town to a Pentecost Celebration and escaped unscathed.
This year, some of my First Communion students received the Eucharist at the Saturday evening Mass. I was excited to watch these little ones receive Jesus for the first time!! The Mass also provides a nice escape from the Mothers' Day. One of my favorite students asked for a picture with me after Mass. She looked so joyful, so full of life. I told her that I wanted to have a little girl just like her someday, and her face broke into a big smile..
Yesterday my wonderful husband brought me pink roses (my favorite) in honor of Mothers' Day. Even better, this morning he surprised me with a heartfelt card about my motherhood to the students entrusted to my care. "This is still YOUR day," he wrote so tenderly.
He's right, of course. And this Mothers' Day, I hold all of my infertility sisters in my heart. I hold my friend K, whose 2 babies are in heaven. Happy Mothers' Day to all Mothers out there, especially my Mom. :)
This is still our day.
3 comments:
Kristy, I thought of you and prayed for you during Mass today. I'm glad you were able to attend the First Communion last night! Rebekah is looking forward to next week!
I agree with your wonderful husband, you have been a spiritual and emotional mother to so many children over the years. Mother's Day is not only for biological mothers. It is also for those women such as yourself, who give of themselves emotionally, physically and spiritualy to children in their charge or who cross their path. Yes, it is wonderful to give birth but the REAL mothering takes place in the formative years. You have been and will continue to be a mother to more children than you can count. All the children you take care of are the better for having you in their lives. God certainly put you in the right place. One of these days, let's celebrate Mother's Day together!
Thank you, Jennifer & Mom. :)
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