Thursday, April 15, 2010

Humbled and Thankful

I was truly moved and humbled at the many congratulatory posts.  Truly, the congrats from my fellow IF sisters mean the most to me.  Thank you!!  I really appreciate your prayers and encouragement.  Please know that I will continue to pray for ALL of you to come to this moment too, whether through adoption or pregnancy.  While the journey has been painful and bittersweet, I must say that the rejoicing has been far more full and happy than if we had just conceived when we wanted to.  Does that make sense?  One deacon's wife confided to me the other day, "I was more happy upon hearing the news of your pregnancy than of my own children's recent pregnancies."  Wow.  So many people were praying and rooting for us!! I can only imagine that the same holds true for all of you.

Since several friends have wondered about the NaPro treatment after pregnancy, here's some info about the progesterone that I've been taking.  Upon immediately telling our instructor of the positive home pregnancy test, she confirmed that at Peak + 20, we were most definitely pregnant (no blood test necessary). She gave us our NaPro doctor's cell number so we could call him for instructions. Thankfully, we caught him between Mass and a banquet. He also confirmed the pregnancy and said he would call in a prescription for Prometrium, a form of progesterone. He also instructed my husband to give me the final HCG shot in order to help things along.

So why the concern? When I had my hormone profile last year, the blood test revealed VERY low levels. That prompted the doctor to put me on HCG shots just to stabilize things. He said my levels could make me susceptible to miscarriage. Progesterone is vital in the first 10 weeks of pregnancy in helping the placenta grow.  Despite the pain caused by the 8 blood tests in 2 weeks (read my posts from last April of the adventures!), the hormone profile proved to be the most helpful part of the overall diagnosis.  And who knows, perhaps I would have never found out about sustaining a pregnancy until several miscarriages.   I'm grateful for the answers it provided.

Below is the rather comical story of how we discovered the pregnancy.  I saved it for the end in case today is not the day to read such things.  Oremus pro invicem! Let us pray for each other!

* * * * * * * * * *
I had always thought a home pregnancy test would include my husband and I watching the lines appear, hugging each other in joy, waxing poetically of the coming life.  (cue mushy music!).   Well, things didn't really go as planned.

On March 13th, after a long day of an Irish Festival and a 3K run, I complained to my husband, "Hon, I'm on Day 36.  Where in the heck is my next cycle? We have a big show on St. Patrick's Day. I don't want to spend it curled up on the couch in massive amounts of pain!  I've got to start taking some Ad.vil!" My husband, the sensible electrical engineer said, "Well, it may be a long cycle this time.  Just take a pregnancy test. You'll feel better. It's probably negative anyway."

Side note: Thankfully, I enjoyed a refreshing green Kentuc.ky A.le beer at the Irish festival earlier that day.  I will fondly remember that for the next few months!   

I sauntered upstairs and took the test. To my huge shock, a second line appeared on the little stick. Maybe I haven't waited the entire 3 minutes, I thought, and took a shower. When I was done, the double lines remained. My husband came upstairs, concerned that I had not come down to tell him the results. Shaking, I pointed to the stick. "It's p-p-p-positive," I stammered. "This can't be right." I think we both knew otherwise. My husband smiled and suggested that I take another test in the morning, as residue of the HCG shots could have made the test false.  He later told me that my facial expression resembled a deer-in-the-headlights.

The next morning I re-took the test and the same result appeared.  I called our Creighton practitioner in a panic, wondering if this could be right.  Also, the fear of miscarriage had already set in.  I had so completely given up on pregnancy that the idea of it happening just wasn't sinking internally.  In addition, the "magic cycle" occurred during the month when I broke out in hives on amox.icilan and got an infection.  Nothing added up. 

Weeks later, the pregnancy has sunk in, especially when my doctor banned me from caffineated coffee until the 1st trimester is over (NO!  Kill me now!).  As Finding Joy in Every Journey noted in her blog, I definitely feel caught in between the pregnant and IF world.  In addition, because of the past 3 years, I've watched multiple friends go through miscarriage and still birth.  Those memories haunt me and made it hard for me to bond with the baby until hearing the heartbeat.  "So many other women deserve this more than me, " I told the doctor.  "Perhaps," she said.  "But you've put in your time with infertility, and now it's time to go on a new journey."

Ok, end of story, my thanks to those of you who endured this post to the end.  :)  My husband and I are headed out of town this weekend to become godparents, so hopefully we will return with tans rather than burns!

14 comments:

This_Cross_I_Embrace said...

What a beautiful story only God could write :)

Congratulations again, I am so very happy for you!!

Kathryn said...

Yea!! I am so happy for you!! This is seriously awesome. I will be praying for you and your little one!! :)

Grace in my Heart said...

Great story! :)

WheelbarrowRider said...

My dh was making fun while I read this b/c I was so giddy and I guess I was making happy noises out loud (he had no idea why until I told him, and he is thrilled for you, but he loves to give me grief!)

Ann - Building a Nest said...

Aw! That’s a sweet story.

Kasclar said...

Wow!! I can't believe that I spent all morning on March 14 with you guys and didn't for a moment notice that "deer-in-the-headlights" look!! Congrats again! And I totally agree with your deacon's wife, I have been more excited hearing about your pregnancy (and C's adoption referral) than any other friend or relative who announces a pregnancy without any difficulties.

We're continuing to pray for you guys!! Have fun this weekend and I look forward to seeing you next weekend so I can finally give you a great big hug!!

mrsblondies said...

Great story! Thanks for sharing it.

Life In Mazes said...

wow, great story! I am so happy for you and your husband. We just found out that I am pregnant and the fear, anxiety, and unworthiness are very present. I do beleive that God will continue to bless your growing family :)

Erin said...

Congratulations!!!!! I am so happy!! Please email me if you need to chat, I know how you feel. It is hard to TRUST!!

the misfit said...

Sign me up for the congratulations bandwagon as well. (I just realized that I read your post on my blackberry, which has suddenly stopped allowing me to make blog comments - so it blocked the comment, and I forgot to put it back on when I got back to a computer.) Anyway, so glad the news is finally sinking in and you're getting to enjoy it a little more!

Maureen said...

Thank you for sharing your story. I enjoy hearing it over and over
:-) Congratulations!

Joseph's Mommy said...

Congratulations again! I am so glad it has sunk in that you are carrying a blessed child inside of you! Try to let go of your worries and know that God has given you one of your deepest desires. Enjoy every minute of it! It goes by too quickly.

Rebecca said...

WooHoo! Congrats! Please be sure to e-mail me and let me know if its a girl... I have lots of hand me downs for you!!!!

inallthingsgood said...

We were the same way about the pregnancy test! I had visions for years of what "the moment" would be like. And it was not at all like that. We both just stared at it shocked, and my husband said. "do you want to take another one?"