Monday, March 22, 2010

The Right Doctor DOES Make a Difference

With all the hoopla of St. Patrick's Day (I do have a video of one of my hardshoe dances, by the way!), I neglected to mention my recent switch to a new OB/GYN. Blood Test Buddy recently found a female OB/GYN who was very receptive to NaPro and Catholic morals. And to top it off, the doctor was actually very kind. That got me thinking.

My previous OB/GYN made life difficult. His methods of dealing with infertility were: Clomi.d, ultrasound, exam the husband, IVF. When my husband and I attempted to state the treatments that made us uncomfortable, the doctor was floored. He began many of his sentences before suggesting things (like the bi.rth control pill when I was TTC!) "I know your personal religious beliefs dictate against this, BUT..." When I asked about Femar.a, he went ballistic. "Who told you about that drug? Remember, I'm the doctor! I make those calls!" My husband and I just sat there in shock.

What really hurt me was that he did not make an effort to respect our morals. I never asked him to agree, just for some respect. By the fact that we were never going to do certain procedures, I'm sure he felt like we had prevented ourselves from getting his help.

As any woman could agree, the OB/GYN office is a vulnerable place already. Then to go there for multiple infertility visits, only to have fruitless procedures and feel like a freak, really took a toll. As our visits became less successful and pleasant (Wheelbarrow Rider, this is why I referred to him as an "idiot" on a comment...maybe that was a little strong but he was really mean at times!), I wanted to stay away. That included the necessary annual uncomfortable female exam.

Well, fast forward three years later to a couple weeks ago. I made an appointment with Blood Test Buddy's doctor. First of all, the office is located at a hospital and offers free valet parking. Woo-hoo, that makes this impatient California Driver happy! Even more so, the entire staff of this OB's office are women. My new doctor listened compassionately to my descriptions of infertility and our efforts towards adoption. She kindly asked questions and made me feel at home. By the time she had to do the uncomfortable part of the exam, I felt very much at ease. She did the exam very quickly too! I asked the doctor if she would put up a picture of my adopted baby on her bulletin board if and when that happens. She smiled and said, "Yes! I love adding to my wall of babies!"

Also, she was completely open when hearing about NaPro, especially the effects of the HCG shots. I walked out of that office more calm and collected. Respected. And knowing that should God ever send us a child naturally, I had found a kind doctor whom I would trust to deliver a baby.

What a difference. :)

12 comments:

Ryan Ann said...

I couldn't agree more!!! So happy that you found a doctor that you feel comfortable with!

Percolating Petals said...

Thanks, Ryan! I hope you have a good doctor too?

callmemama said...

So glad you found a doctor that could treat you without belittling your beliefs or treating you disrespectfully! You'd think that wouldn't be so difficult to find...it's just shocking how you were treated.

Molly said...

You need to give me her info. I am looking for a new one! I am so glad it went well!
Are you guys busy Sat.night?

Maureen said...

I'm also glad that you finally found someone compassionate and caring. Reminds me of the straight-faced comment my OB/GYN made after I found out I was pregnant for the 3rd time. "Since you will be 35 when the baby is born, we should do an amniocentesis. If there is anything wrong, we can do an abortion." I told him there would be no abortion!! Later when we moved to another city, I took my medical records with me. "No TAB" was written at the top. "TAB" stood for "therapuetic abortion". Therapuetic!!!!! Who's he kidding!!

WheelbarrowRider said...

Awesome! anything that makes life easier is a blessing. And Hey, I have no problem with "idiot" when the shoe fits, lol; I think I was caught up on that particular post and used the word again myself but that time in prob way too broad sweaping of a fashion if I am thinking of the right one, getting caught up in some other frustrations, and I was appopriately called on it by others. But your use now and then, yes I get it. Totally.

the misfit said...

Your previous doctor WAS an idiot. Respecting your beliefs doesn't mean he has to convert to Catholicism. But you're an adult and it's DISrespectful to ignore you continually when you say what you're willing to do. Not only religious people have moral standards regarding medical treatment anyway! How does he deal with any of his patients??? (And being offended that you knew the name of a drug is RIDICULOUS. Actually, because you're the patient, YOU call the shots - he can't prescribe any treatment at all that you don't consent to. And you're paying for the care!)

Sorry, I get a little worked up. So glad to hear you now have a doctor you like!

Living Advent said...

I'm sitting here in shock. I'd love to give your old doc a piece of my mind. I never give any doctor more than 2 chances and often never go back after the first visit. I just go get a copy of my records and call it a learning experience. I think the doctor-patient relationship is like dating. If it's not a good fit why bother?

I'm SOOOO glad that you found a doctor that you like!

Joseph's Mommy said...

I'm so glad you found a doctor you like! What a blessing!

Percolating Petals said...

Thank you, everyone. Ha ha ha, I wish I could bring you all into his office. He would run in terror! By the way, my mom's story was from 1981; it's sad that doctors felt like that back then.

Cathy said...

Kind of unrelated, but regarding doctors who push IVF or whatever on their Catholic patients even after they've been told, "We don't believe in that..."

My daughter's ped. always gave me grief about not getting the MMR shot, the chickenpox, etc. It really irked me. I wasn't trying to convert her, but me saying, "We are ethically opposed to shot Whatever" should be enough.
The last time we were in, she (again) said, "What about the MMR?"
Frustrated, I said, "We are ethically opposed to the MMR so she won't be getting that."
And then something remarkable happened. She said, "May I ask why?"

At first, I was on the defensive. I raised my voice and said, "Because the cell lines from which the MMR vax is obtained came from an aborted baby."

"Excuse me?" she asked, her mouth dropping open.

I gave her the entire history of the Rubella vax. I explained that the little baby boy (14 weeks gestation) from which RA-27-3 cell line was developed was *R*ubella *A*bortus, *27*th baby to be aborted in this vaccine's development, the *3*rd culture from him was the one used for the line.
I explained that this ghastly way of obtaining cell lines was the same reason we were opposed to Chickenpox Vax and Hep-A vax.

She could not believe it. "Ohmygod, I think it's chicken embryos."
I told her that, um, no, those three vaxes are not made from chicken or monkey embryos like so many others. They are made from dead human babies.

She sat for a minute and then quietly said, "I'm Hindu. We don't even believe in killing animals!"

I let her process this information and then we had a long (30 minutes, maybe?) talk about life and sanctity and it turned out okay.
I don't fault her for not knowing - not many doctors would. Only a person specializing in vax production (or a crazy prolife Catholic, ha) would know such things.
But I'm glad she knows now. I know she won't be so flippant about ethical refusal of vax now, so quick to judge.

I am glad you got a new doc. It DOES make all the difference in the world. Your doc works FOR YOU. (S)he MUST respect your moral compass, period.

John said...

That really makes me mad. What an arrogant ass!! I'm really glad you found a good doctor. And mom, I remember hearing that story in the past and it still makes me shake my head...