This past Tuesday night I attended a special Mass for healing. (I prayed for you, my IF friends!). Sitting in the few in front of me was a Caucasian couple with 3 beautiful Chinese daughters. At one point, the youngest girl rested on her mother's lap, wrapping her little arms around her neck. The little hands began to play with her mom's blond hair. I was struck at the contrast of blond and black hair colors, but at the same time the incredible bond between the two of them. Anyone could look at them and surmise that they are mother and daughter. They may look different on the outside, but the familial love just seem to radiate. I looked at the little girl with longing, the same longing I used to have at watching mothers hold their newborn babies.
To me, that really indicates that our desire to adopt is very alive and well. My desire to lose this weight and bring our child home has become stronger than a desire to get pregnant. Maybe it's the pessimist in me, or perhaps God's way of preparing me for the embrace of adoption.
My two cousins were adopted from South America over 18 years ago. One of them told me recently that he still sees himself as Slovak (my dad's side of the family), despite his very obvious Latin American ancestry. I in turn always thought of him and his sister as my cousins, not very different from me. The whole idea that they were adopted really disappeared after a while. :)
Seeing that mother and child on Tuesday night awakened a new excitement in me. I know the same will happen with our child; the outward differences will give way to the love of a family.