Monday, May 10, 2010

Mothers' Day Thoughts

I used to avoid Mothers' Day like the plague.  I intentionally attended a Saturday evening Mass devoid of the blessing of Mothers.  My shopping cart would speed quickly by the Mothers' Day cards.  Still, the date was always a reminder of what I didn't have.

Then yesterday came.  During the blessing of Mothers at Mass, I was pleased to hear the priest call for them this way: "All mothers, foster mothers, stepmothers, and those who have lost children through stillbirth, miscarriage, or abortion, please stand."  While standing up for the first time, I began to cry.  The whole thing felt surreal.  To have waited so long and arrived at this day felt overwhelming (in a good way).  I definitely think that the long wait for children made this Mothers' Day all the more sweet.  And our many friends, knowing the struggle we've endured for the past few years, took great pleasure in wishing me a Happy Mother's Day.  They wanted this for us too.  While the pain of the past few years hasn't been very fun, it's definitely made celebrating all the more sweet.

Still, so many of my IF friends continue to be in my thoughts and prayers, especially on Mothers' Day.  The fact that you are waiting and sacrificing (through long adoption processes or uncomfortable tests/procedures) makes you mothers already.  I can only hope that your first Mothers' Day will bring you joy out of all this pain.  I felt like the Olympic athletes standing on the podium after winning a medal; all of the sacrifice and hardship made the moment of celebration even more poignant.  Yet sadness for my many deserving IF friends was there too.

Something else that I realized was that my husband got it right last year.  He still bought me a Mothers' Day card, noting my spiritual motherhood to students and baby-sitting kids alike.  I definitely appreciate his words more than ever this year; spiritual motherhood is so important.  I continue to be amazed at the many women who pour themselves out to care for others.

Also aiding in the celebration was a laid back weekend after last week's sewage fiasco.  We intentionally did more relaxing and de-stressing.  Sure, we also plowed through a bag of potato chips and sour cream & onion dip as well as some decadent cupcakes, but that was part of the celebration.  Really. :)

One Hollywood celebrity has a very sympathetic understanding of Mother's Day as an IF woman and now as an adoptive mother.  Call Me Mama posted this on her blog, so I wanted to pass it along.  The author's words really ring true.


WheelbarrowRider said...

I am so thrilled for you and can picture you standing proud. Everything is so much more appreciated after what we've been through with IF. I know you will feel each of these moments (the shower, shopping for a crib, etc) a little deeper than your average mom and it will all be that much sweeter! And I know you will always remember, like I do, those still waiting, and pray for them fiercly!

Anonymous said...

Im so happy for you that you enjoyed your day as you should!! And thanks for sharing that article - i had no idea she was going through that and good for her sharing that story.

This_Cross_I_Embrace said...

Yikes, I would not have liked to be in that Mass :( I'd have been the only one still sitting!

At ours they included all mothers, including those who "desperately want to become mothers and are having difficulties" in the blessing, but before saying everything they asked that all "mothers" stand.

I would probably not have stood up if I had had a miscarriage or abortion, I wonder if anyone actually did stand for that! It's kinda weird that he said that, isn't it?? (And in a way, even more isolating for the infertile woman who is not an adoptive or foster mother.)

But anyway...
I am so happy you finally had your moment to rejoice in that blessing that you SO DESERVE!!!

Maureen said...

My Mother's Day was much more special because of your Mother's Day. I know you will never forget your spiritual motherhood for godchildren, students and any other children that you are close to. You will always have a special place in their hearts.

Jeremiah 29:11 said...

Happy Mothers Day!!

Leila said...

Happy Mother's Day! :)

mrsblondies said...

I'm glad to hear that your Mother's Day was good and relaxing (and didn't involve sewage).