I walk the line...
Between realism and hope.
Between wanting a child and trying to obey God's will.
Between accepting suffering (usually badly on my part) but avoiding deep depression.
Between seeking new information and treatment but knowing when nothing will work.
Between trying to lose weight for adoption but wonder if we are supposed to seek another country.* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Today I went to a women's breakfast. Let's just say the morning started out rather badly. AF arrived and wracked me with pain. I get on the freeway only to get stuck in a 15min traffic jam just to move about 10 feet. I arrived late, only to find the table where I had hoped to sit was full. Thankfully, a good friend came with me and we sat at another table. Wouldn't you know it, on a morning such as this, I meet the lady next to me and we discover that we attend the same parish and Mass. Then she asks,
"Well, do you have any kids?" "No," I sighed and explained briefly about adoption. "Well, she answered, "the only people I notice at Mass are families with children, so that's why I haven't seen you."
WHAT KIND OF A QUESTION IS THAT??? She later revealed that she never had children, but came from a big family, and big families are so good, yadda yadda. And I said, "Well, no matter the size of the family, each child is a gift." By this point, I'm looking imploringly at my friend, who generously tried to steer the conversation away. But the lady wasn't done. When we returned to our seats after getting breakfast, the lady asked, "So why don't you just do IVF?"
I really wanted to scream, or at least pick up my plasticware and attempt to impale her. Somehow I manged to keep my cool and just said, "As Catholics, we cannot do that." She honestly was surprised and said that she had never heard that before. I briefly explained the teaching (unitive and procreative) and hoped she would leave me alone. Perhaps the only good part of AF's arrival was that the pain forced me to leave immediately after the speaker's presentation finished, lest I get any more comments.
Seriously, I haven't run into someone this insensitive in a long time. And of all places at a Catholic Women's breakfast!
I walk the line....between trying to explain the pain of IF to insensitive people and not smacking them!