Humbled and Thankful

I was truly moved and humbled at the many congratulatory posts.  Truly, the congrats from my fellow IF sisters mean the most to me.  Thank you!!  I really appreciate your prayers and encouragement.  Please know that I will continue to pray for ALL of you to come to this moment too, whether through adoption or pregnancy.  While the journey has been painful and bittersweet, I must say that the rejoicing has been far more full and happy than if we had just conceived when we wanted to.  Does that make sense?  One deacon's wife confided to me the other day, "I was more happy upon hearing the news of your pregnancy than of my own children's recent pregnancies."  Wow.  So many people were praying and rooting for us!! I can only imagine that the same holds true for all of you.

Since several friends have wondered about the NaPro treatment after pregnancy, here's some info about the progesterone that I've been taking.  Upon immediately telling our instructor of the positive home pregnancy test, she confirmed that at Peak + 20, we were most definitely pregnant (no blood test necessary). She gave us our NaPro doctor's cell number so we could call him for instructions. Thankfully, we caught him between Mass and a banquet. He also confirmed the pregnancy and said he would call in a prescription for Prometrium, a form of progesterone. He also instructed my husband to give me the final HCG shot in order to help things along.

So why the concern? When I had my hormone profile last year, the blood test revealed VERY low levels. That prompted the doctor to put me on HCG shots just to stabilize things. He said my levels could make me susceptible to miscarriage. Progesterone is vital in the first 10 weeks of pregnancy in helping the placenta grow.  Despite the pain caused by the 8 blood tests in 2 weeks (read my posts from last April of the adventures!), the hormone profile proved to be the most helpful part of the overall diagnosis.  And who knows, perhaps I would have never found out about sustaining a pregnancy until several miscarriages.   I'm grateful for the answers it provided.

Below is the rather comical story of how we discovered the pregnancy.  I saved it for the end in case today is not the day to read such things.  Oremus pro invicem! Let us pray for each other!

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I had always thought a home pregnancy test would include my husband and I watching the lines appear, hugging each other in joy, waxing poetically of the coming life.  (cue mushy music!).   Well, things didn't really go as planned.

On March 13th, after a long day of an Irish Festival and a 3K run, I complained to my husband, "Hon, I'm on Day 36.  Where in the heck is my next cycle? We have a big show on St. Patrick's Day. I don't want to spend it curled up on the couch in massive amounts of pain!  I've got to start taking some Ad.vil!" My husband, the sensible electrical engineer said, "Well, it may be a long cycle this time.  Just take a pregnancy test. You'll feel better. It's probably negative anyway."

Side note: Thankfully, I enjoyed a refreshing green Kentuc.ky A.le beer at the Irish festival earlier that day.  I will fondly remember that for the next few months!   

I sauntered upstairs and took the test. To my huge shock, a second line appeared on the little stick. Maybe I haven't waited the entire 3 minutes, I thought, and took a shower. When I was done, the double lines remained. My husband came upstairs, concerned that I had not come down to tell him the results. Shaking, I pointed to the stick. "It's p-p-p-positive," I stammered. "This can't be right." I think we both knew otherwise. My husband smiled and suggested that I take another test in the morning, as residue of the HCG shots could have made the test false.  He later told me that my facial expression resembled a deer-in-the-headlights.

The next morning I re-took the test and the same result appeared.  I called our Creighton practitioner in a panic, wondering if this could be right.  Also, the fear of miscarriage had already set in.  I had so completely given up on pregnancy that the idea of it happening just wasn't sinking internally.  In addition, the "magic cycle" occurred during the month when I broke out in hives on amox.icilan and got an infection.  Nothing added up. 

Weeks later, the pregnancy has sunk in, especially when my doctor banned me from caffineated coffee until the 1st trimester is over (NO!  Kill me now!).  As Finding Joy in Every Journey noted in her blog, I definitely feel caught in between the pregnant and IF world.  In addition, because of the past 3 years, I've watched multiple friends go through miscarriage and still birth.  Those memories haunt me and made it hard for me to bond with the baby until hearing the heartbeat.  "So many other women deserve this more than me, " I told the doctor.  "Perhaps," she said.  "But you've put in your time with infertility, and now it's time to go on a new journey."

Ok, end of story, my thanks to those of you who endured this post to the end.  :)  My husband and I are headed out of town this weekend to become godparents, so hopefully we will return with tans rather than burns!