Thankful on this Thoughtful Thursday

Normally, Thoughtful Thursday is reserved for a profound or even pithy quote.  No such luck today, sorry!  I am immensely grateful for the kind and encouraging comments on my last post.  And TCIE had a great point: wouldn't it be neat to see Jesus as a toddler?  :)  Thanks for reading and encouraging me on the journey.

Toddlerhood is still challenging, but I'm finally learning a few things here and there.  And perhaps my last post didn't highlight the excitement, interaction, and discovery that this age brings.  Amid the tantrums and other difficult moments, the squeals of joy at a new activity make up for them.

Call Me Mama (hmm, sounds like a pop song parody? :) ) asked if I had read any books on toddlerhood.  So far, our go-to book for everything has been Toddler 411, which doesn't just cover discipline but also medical and emotional issues.  I also have been reading The Happiest Toddler on the Block, a follow-up to The Happiest Baby on the Block, which we used when KB was a little baby.

So far, The Happiest Toddler on the Block has some neat guiding principles when it comes to dealing with little ones.  I sort of prefer that to minute, nit-picky details.  After all, each child is different!

Today I came across this article on Faith and Family Live.  It discusses how parents may thrive at different stages of their children's lives.  Talk about a relief!  It's easy to feel guilty sometimes when a stage of childhood isn't fun or doesn't come natural.  And sometimes I have felt like a high school freshman trying to navigate the first day of school.  But considering I was never around a lot of babies (unlike my husband, who was 13 when his little sister was born), at least I've survived so far!!! :)

A couple weeks ago I had to take KB with me to Irish Dance class while my husband went to a funeral visitation.  I was surprised to see KB try to follow me and mimic some of the movement (not the footwork! It's complicated!).  She smiled and giggled too.  I danced with her in utero up until the 8th month of pregnancy, so hopefully some kind of love for dance got passed on to her!!

And speaking of things that get passed on to kids, check out my little girl at St.arbux.  She stole my stole my smoothie!

The blogging Gap and the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

"Have you seen my Mommy's blog? I think it disappeared!"

Ah, the gap in posts has become ever wider. What started out as a brief blogging break in the summer stretched further than I wanted. Well, today follows the feast day of one of my favorite saints, St. Therese of Liseux, and therefore great day to begin again.

First, let me start with the good. This summer my husband and I went away for our anniversary and hosted numerous friends and family at our house. We also watched in great joy as 2 IF friends adopted baby girls. Longtime readers of this blog (if there are any of you left!) might remember Blood Test Buddy, my faithful companion during our many rounds of blood tests for our NaPro doctor. Blood Test Buddy gave birth to a baby girl (after 6 years of trying) on my birthday!! What an awesome gift. I celebrated a low-key 35th birthday as well.

But then came some bad. My husband’s company laid off almost 600 workers at the end of August. Thankfully his job is safe for now, but it was a very terrifying time. He also had to watch several of his talented coworkers lose their jobs.

Right around this time, my support system started to crumble. Our dear friends at our parish who have been like a mentor family decided to attend another parish…and fall out of touch (the exception was blogger friend K, who helped me on a couple difficult nights!). Close friends who were normally available became busy (rightfully so) with new babies. Other friends just kind of forgot. And might I add, with the loss of Gymb.oree, I lost the companionship of moms with kids the same age. These days, I seem to end up at events with parents who have cute, cuddly babies (who don't say "NO") who end up gaping in horror at the antics of my toddler.

And the UGLY. My sweet little girl’s entrance into the Terrible Twos has started early. There are many reasons why this was so jarring: I have never spent much time around toddlers before (I only teach Grade 2 or above); KB had been a very laid-back, docile baby; being at home makes things harder.

And to boot, I've been very embarrassed to blog about this turmoil. After all, this blog began as an INFERTILITY blog. Having a child was something I desperately wanted. In addition, I have the opportunity to stay at home with her full time, knowing that several friends would give anything to do the same but can’t. (Note: I respect working moms who support their families! It is their decision and they do not deserve to be condemned).

After a while, I did think more about the issue. We all know friends or family members who have pursued careers in medicine, teaching, or law, which require years of preparation. Such professionals often have bad days, but it doesn’t cause us to admonish them mockingly, “but THIS is what you wanted!” The voice inside my head often says that to me, after a long day of chasing a toddler who throws a tantrum at the word “no.” Some days are better than others, of course. Thankfully, talking to a good amount of mothers (including my own mom and mother-in-law) affirmed that toddlerhood is both an exciting and challenging time. That I wasn’t the only one who got very little out of Sunday Mass because most of it was spent wrestling. Or that tantrums (especially public ones) were normal but required consistency. “Do you remember some of your most difficult students?” asked my mom. “Just imagine how they were as toddlers!” Talk about incentive!

What has changed a bit, however, are my coping tactics. We switched our gym membership to the local Y as its kids’ club is fantastic. Even if all I can muster is 30 minutes on the elliptical, that still gives me about an hour of “me time” and KB an hour of play in the kids’ club. We've also started “take a break Sundays” when we attend another parish once a month who offers a nursery during Mass. It’s nice to have a chance to concentrate on Mass. My husband has been wonderful about shooing me out of the house when I've had a long day at home. He will take one look at my tired face and tell me to go to Sta.rbucks. J I’m also going to check out a local Mom’s group at a neighboring parish.

I hope some of my words make sense. As I've often stated on this blog, IF has many effects that stay with you for a long time. And toddlerhood REALLY surprised me after a smooth babyhood. And who knows what adventures lie in store for us. Right now, I’m trying to take one day and one prayer at a time.

Wordless Wednesday: Hi, Mary!

Quick Takes Friday: Is it August Already Edition

1.  My friend K sent me this blog post about God and heartbreak.  Since I'm still working through some miscarriage grief, the words really gave me insight.  I hope it will help you too. Part I and Part II.

2.  I thought once the Mass was over, sorrow of the loss of our baby would be lessened.  Instead, it has shown up in random places.  Back in March we ran into a mutual friend at the OB office (did this ever happen to you for an IF ultrasound?).  She was there to find out the gender of her baby.  We were there to find out if we even had a baby.  Fast forward to July; she gave birth to her baby last week and for some reason it really bothered me.  Not in a jealous, "how dare you" way, but a wave of sadness.

3.  Thankfully, K assured me such feelings are normal.  I was about ready to call the men in white coats to get me.  She also told me something rather logical, but nonetheless profound: Grief has no timetable.

4.  We had a wonderful anniversary weekend last week.  KB did great with my inlaws and we enjoyed just relaxing.  On Sunday we rented a small fishing boat and rode around the lake.  We almost had to call for help when I went swimming but couldn't get back into the boat that was sans ladder.  Thankfully, I eventually got up there!

5.  KB has been getting into musical instruments lately.  We always let her play the piano (she kinda looks bluesy in this picture), but she's also taken to the toy drum and xylophone.  My husband and I are very musical, so we hope this trend continues.  OK, we hope the interest in music continues.  We're not sure if we want a percussionist in the family this early.

6.  To end the Quick Takes on a lighter note, Word On Fire has a fun post about potential players on the Vatican's Olympic team. :)  I just love watching the Olympics, don't you?

Happy Friday!

Marriage Meme in place of quick takes

Happy Friday, Blogosphere. In lieu of Quick Takes this week, I have a fun marriage meme that was copied from other esteemed bloggers who did the same on their anniversaries.  My husband and I will celebrate 6 years of marriage this Sunday. (!) Time flies. 

1. Where/how did you meet: We met on CatholicMatch.com (then called StRaphael.net) in the Spring of 2002.  We met in person for the first time in October of that same year. 

2. How long have you known each other: 10 years…wow!

3. How long after you met did you start dating: Because our relationship started on the internet, we were friends for a few months.  We made it official on New Years’ Eve 2002

4. How long did you date before you were engaged: about 2.5 years.  I was definitely sweating those last 6 months, wondering if he would ever pop the question!

5. How long was your engagement: 11 months

6. How long have you been married: 6 years

7. What is your anniversary: July 29

8. How many people came to your wedding reception: 150

9. What kind of cake did you serve: Typical tiered wedding cake; every layer was chocolate or vanilla.  We didn’t want any fruity filling!

10. Where was your wedding: We had a beautiful Nuptial Mass at St. Mary’s, Sacra.mento.  Our reception was held at a nearby hotel.

11. What did you serve for your meal: It was a buffet.  I barely got to eat anything, so any memories would be based on the taste-testing the previous December. 

12. How many people were there in your bridal party: 5 bridesmaids, 4 groomsmen.  My husband’s brother, a priest, concelebrated the Mass.

13. Are you still friends with them all: yes, although I keep in closer contact with the bridesmaids.

14. Did you or your spouse cry during the ceremony?  He got a bit teary-eyed when he saw me walk down the aisle.  I teared up here and there, especially when my dad and brother played “The Wedding Song.”

15. Most special moment of your wedding day: So many family and friends came from far away to attend the wedding.  That touched me the most!  Other than that, the entire Nuptial Mass was so moving.  :)

16. Any funny moments: Before walking down the aisle, I discovered my veil wasn’t over my face yet.  A bridesmaid had to hastily help me.  Then my dad said, “Oh yeah, I was supposed to ask if you were really sure about this.  I can tell you are!”  I had to throw the bouquet twice at the reception.  The first time it hit the ceiling.

17. Any big disasters: I forgot to leave directions to the reception, so a few out of town guests got lost en route. Also, my husband and I agreed to exchange cards instead of gifts.  I was so busy catching up with friends who arrived the night before that I forgot to write a card.  That caused an awkward moment on the way to the reception. 

18. Where did you go on your honeymoon: Rome and Venice.  Our priest got us “Sposa Novelli” tickets to the papal audience too!

19. How long where you gone: 14 days

20. If you were to do your wedding over, what would you change: I would have let my husband see me before the wedding and get our photos done more quickly.  And somehow made sure we got to eat more food than we actually did!  I also should have gotten a spray tan!

21. What side of the bed do you sleep on: the right (closest to the door and bathroom)

22. What size is your bed: King

23. Greatest strength as a couple: We’re best friends.  Because the first part of our relationship was long distance, we talk easily to one another (assuming tiredness or a bad day are not involved!).

24. Greatest challenge as a couple: Surviving infertility and our recent miscarriage.  Also, keeping open the lines of communication.

25. Who literally pays the bills: my husband.  He likes math.  He keeps me in the loop. Sometimes he has to help me with basic calculations.

26. What is your song: We like different types of music, so if there is one I could pick that describes us as a couple, it’s “I Will Be There” by Steven Curtis Chapman.

27. What did you dance your first dance to: “You Raise Me Up” by Jos.h Gr.oban.  We even did a choreographed dance (ballroom dance lessons) and my husband forgot most of the moves when we started! We still had fun.

28. Describe your wedding dress: it was the third one I tried on at the store!  White with spaghetti straps, a sweeping roching to the side, beautiful beading at the top.

29. What kind of flowers did you have at your wedding: a lot of roses in honor of St. Therese, the Little Flower.  My cousin also added touches of blue flowers to compliment the white and pink roses.

30. Are your wedding bands engraved? Nope.

First Time Away

For the first time in almost 20 months, my husband and I will go away for the weekend without our little girl.  By ourselves.  Really.  I wish our destination was this lovely SoCal train station, but finances have kept us on our side of the country.  :)


Our 6th (!) anniversary will occur on Sunday, and we feel it's time to get away by ourselves.  We're both rather hesitant about spending 2 nights away from KB, but see the big picture.  Now that we work hard on a daily basis to raise a toddler who has become very VERY independent, our energy is depleted faster.  It's easy to let simple things such as reading, talking, etc. go by the wayside and veg in front of the TV night after night.  We decided that now is the time to reconnect and relax by ourselves and return as a happier, refreshed couple!  Not that we're sad or resentful of KB in our lives; we just need to recharge.  I'm sure that first night we will search the cabin for the baby monitor by force of habit. We purposefully picked a cabin at a nearby lake.  Plenty of time for reading, relaxing, going to Mass by ourselves, and (I hope) kayaking.

I think getaways like this are very important.  When we went through our own IF journey, getaways helped me relax and take my mind off TTC and life's everyday tasks at home.  Now that we are finally parents and navigating the arduous TTC process again, I hope the downtime will help me regain proper perspective (this past week there were a TON of pregnancy announcements).  I think KB, who will be in the capable hands of my wonderful in-laws, will become even cuter while we're gone.

Quick Takes Friday: Thunder Edition

Welcome to this edition of Quick Takes, which comes on the heels of a massive storm that hit our area.  But that was not as cool as this blogger's 1/2 rain, 1/2 dry yard. 

1.  Major congrats are in order to this lovely blogger, whose second son will arrive at her home very soon!!  Adoption is AWESOME!  Grace In My Heart has been such an inspiration to me, both as a mom and one who has waited on the Lord.

2.  This past weekend, KB and I met up with my 8th grade teacher who flew to our state for a conference.  My teacher taught me so much, spiritually and academically.  She even traveled to my wedding six years ago and brought up the gifts at our Nuptial Mass.  It's not often that one has an opportunity to verbally appreciate a mentor from childhood.

3.  Another visitor from the West Coast came as well: Fr. Blaise, who officiated at our wedding six years ago.  Our home was among the many stops of his motorcycle ride through the Midwest before heading back to California.  Not only did he get to meet Katie Beth (who tried out his motor cycle and didn't like it too much), he also offered Mass in our home (!).  We enjoyed catching up on life and trying to convince him to stay longer next time.

Vroom, Vroom!  Hmmm, riding a motorcycle with a baby doll is probably not a good idea.

4.  Last week I posted an article from the Word on Fire Blog about a priest who learned many lessons from surgery.  Here is part two of his excellent series. 

5.  Slowly, ever so slowly, I am attempting to reach my goal of losing 10% of my starting weight since embarking on Wei.ght W.atchers in February.  My hope is to become more healthy, but also prepare my body for a possible future pregnancy.  Just a few pounds to go, but too many treats to avoid, such as this highly addictive item from a restaurant that happens to have a very good kids' menu:

I KNOW you put crack in these cookies, Chick.fi.lA!  No one can resist the gooey goodness!

6.  Once again, we are looking forward to hosting Joy Beyond the Cross and her family this weekend.  I hope it is the first of many future in-person blogger meet ups!  My husband now identifies various blogger friends by their blog names, and he'll often ask if I've met them in person.  He's starting to learn some of your names. :) 

Happy Friday!  For more quick takes, go here!