Thoughts from the not-so-home stretch

Greetings from your intrepid blogger.  I'm loving the fact that my local weather still hovers in the 70s, meaning I can wear my beloved FitFlops without worry of cold weather.  As luck would have it, I'm attempting to get some advanced planning and schoolwork done before D-Day only to find blogging a more desirable alternative.  Obviously, the baby hasn't arrived yet.  She hasn't even caused a contraction, so I'm beginning to think she has inherited my tendency towards procrastination.

We had a scare last week at my weekly appointment.  The ultrasound revealed low (but not dangerously) amniotic fluid.  The doctor ordered me to cease all intense activity and drink about 80 oz of water a day.  So last week became more low-key than originally planned.  It nearly drove me crazy, but the possibility of total bedrest (not my favorite option) loomed as the next step.  Thankfully, this past Monday's ultrasound revealed that the fluid had increased to a safer level.  Deo Gratias!

One of the major struggles I've had during this pregnancy is accepting the normal fears and anxieties as normal.  Instead, the effects of IF chastise me constantly: "Come on, this is what you always wanted... There are many other people that want this more than you..."  Many of pregnancy's crosses (heartburn, loss of sleep, achiness, etc.) have been harder to endure, as if there is something inside preventing these normal feelings of anxiety.  And don't get me started on the thoughts of "Am I really ready to become a mother?  How in the world will I care for a newborn?  What if my baby hates me?"  Again, according to the preggo books, such thoughts are normal.  Yet for an IF survivor, it's hard to give yourself permission to acknowledge their normalcy.  Does that make sense?  I say this often and will say it again: when the various pregnancy unpleasantries do occur, I pray for my IF sisters who are still waiting.  That will never change. 

This past Sunday our dear pastor gave me the Anointing of the Sick to help me prepare for the upcoming labor and childbirth.  All I can say is WOW!!  What an incredible sacrament.  The burdens that weighed so heavily became lighter.  Truly, I felt the strength to endure the days ahead.  I'm so glad that the Church allows people to receive the sacrament before surgery, etc. instead of only just before death as in years past.

In my next post, I will ask for any prayer petitions that you would like me to intercede for during labor & delivery.  So get those lists ready!!

p.s.  I hope to wear flip flops in November!! Ha.

That looks like a medieval device...

The more he compassionately witnesses my bouts with AF, various OB procedures, and the like, my husband has always asserted how glad he is to be a man.  On Monday while at the OB/GYN office for the now weekly exams, the nurse assistant pulled a specul.um out of the drawer.  "Honey, that is the evil device known as the speculu.m," I pointed out to my husband.  He's never seen one until now.

His eyes widened in horror and he replied, "That looks like medieval tor.ture device!"  The nurse and midwife chuckled, and agreed with him. Chock one more reason why he's happy to be a guy on the list.  As for me, I felt satisfaction in him learning about yet another aspect of womanhood that is invasive and painful.   A small victory! :)

Quick (Photo) Takes Friday!

Since my posting has been rather spotty lately, I thought it would be fun to post pictures for the 7 Quick Takes Friday...

1.  Last month, some dear friends threw a wonderful baby shower for me.  Among my many favorite memories, I was most touched by the fact that several friends from the IF support group came to celebrate.  Talk about true friends!!  Baby showers were always hard for me while enduring IF, so my IF friends' presence meant so much.

My friend and fellow local blogger Kerri!

The lovely hostesses!

2.  A huge event took place in my home state, the World Equestrian Games.  My Irish Dance group was invited to perform along one of the walkways leading towards the event areas.  To my pleasant surprise, I was still able to dance some of our routines by toning things down a bit and wearing sneakers.  I even turned a maternity dress into an impromptu costume!

3.  As I mentioned in my previous post, we finally FINALLY found & purchased our first "family" car.  My hubby and I both have driven sedans for a long time, but needed a car with more space for baby gear.  We were pleasantly surprised to find this model; it's big enough to haul baby stuff but not too large for me to maneuver around town.  I'm still trying to figure out how to get the blue tooth to make phone calls through the radio....  A huge bonus/nice providence was that the car salesman didn't give us any B.S.  He had previously lived in Southern California, so he and I reminisced about InNOut Burger, L.A. traffic, and the like.

 3.  I've been washing all of the blankets, linens, tiny outfits, etc. for the baby.  Finally, we can put all of those things in the nursery.  I should mention that this room has always been our guest room.  The previous owners painted it pink.  When we found out our baby was a girl, we decided to keep the color.  Yea for (slightly) less work!

 Our new glider/recliner.  I've slept in it one night already.

4.  Last weekend, my hubby and I went on a "babymoon."  It's a trip that a couple takes as their last hurrah before a child arrives.  We've had more than 4 years by ourselves, so we enjoyed savoring these last moments of togetherness while our child is quiet and portable. :)  Also, I was rather emotional about missing my brother's wedding and stressed about completing baby tasks; this getaway really helped me relax.  We had a very laid back, low cost trip to Cincinnati.

It may look like a tropical getaway, but this waterfall graces the tropical room at a local conservatory.



5.  I saw this ridiculous sign in our hotel bathroom.  Would you pay $15 for one of those bath towels? 

6.  I LOVE cats.  I actually invited  my friend's cat, Willow, to the baby shower.  She is the friendliest cat in the world.  At this point, our house is pet-free, so Willow is my "vicarious" cat.  My husband loves this because she lives at someone else's house.

7.  Finally, besides the coffee shower favors that I gave out, I also gave each guest one of these.  I'll never forget my IF journey, and I hope these little flowers will remind others to pray for those affected by IF.

Have a blessed weekend!!

Blogger MIA returns AND a Cool Gospel Passage

Remember me?  Suddenly 2 weeks have passed without so much of a blog post.  Sure, a few ideas floated around in my head, but no words made that critical journey from the mind to the fingers to the keyboard.  Before going further, I want to clarify that (1) The baby hasn't come yet, (2) We've had a lot of baby stuff to get done, (3) We are so relieved to have bought our family car, despite the fact it took 6 HOURS on a Monday to complete everything, (4) Pregnancy has brought on severe sleep apnea and I can't sleep, and (5) I'm starting to view labor, delivery and the care of a newborn with anxiety (aack!) and guilt ("you always wanted this, why are you freaking out?").  More about that in a later post.

In other news, my brother got married in Oregon this past weekend.  Since I'm 35 weeks pregnant, I didn't want to take the chance of something happening while there.  Not to mention a 5-hour cross country plane flight would be the ultimate discomfort.  Still, myriads of mixed feelings remained at having to miss his wedding.  We got pregnant after my brother announced his engagement.  At that point, my husband and I thought adoption was our path and figured that our attempts would never amount to a pregnancy.  Of course, my brother and the rest of my family were very happy and understanding of the circumstances, but I still felt guilty.  The day felt rather emotional, although my wonderful husband took me to Cincinnati for our "babymoon," which help assuage the sadness.  It occurred to me that missing of the wedding is one of many, MANY sacrifices on behalf of our child that will come in the future. 

Two weeks ago my parish celebrated its patronal feast, Our Lady of the Rosary.  That meant special readings proclaimed at Mass, including a Gospel that one normally hears around Christmastime or the Annunciation.  I couldn't help but get teary-eyed as the words were read about my patron saint, Elizabeth:

"And behold, Elizabeth, your relative, has also conceived a son in her old age, and this is the sixth month for her who was called barren; for nothing will be impossible for God." (Luke 1: 36, 37) 

In the last 3 years, I had the same reaction upon hearing the Gospel, except with tears of sadness.  This past Christmas, however, something in my heart stirred.  One day I'll hear this passage while holding a baby in my arms, whether from my body or from adoption.  One day.  All those previous years of wishing and waiting were made so very sweet in the reading of that part of the passage.  My husband smiled too, knowing that as Kati.e Bet.h kicked me in the womb, we echoed the same words: Nothing will be impossible for God. Nothing.  Even something like this happening to someone like me...

What's in a Name: Part Deux

As the weeks towards our baby's arrival continue to become shorter, I wanted to write about the name we have chosen for her.  Post-birth, I'm anticipating (a) the loss of brain cells (b) the loss of time (c) the inability to sit at the computer (d) excessive grogginess and grouchiness due to lack of sleep.  Not very ideal conditions for writing, let alone about such a special topic.  One of the many things I have always looked forward to was selecting names for future children, making sure the first and middle names had special significance.  Both my husband and I strongly believe in selecting names in which you can easily tell the gender of the child (those of you who have taught school know what I mean!).  To have waited so long for a child makes this naming effort even more special!

Some of you may remember that during our adoption process from South Korea, we had hoped to name a son Andrew.  We are saving that name if we do adopt from there someday.  For some time, we have had a girl's name picked.  Thanks for indulging my little explanation.  So without further ado, our little girl will be called:

Kather.ine Eliza.beth, with a nickname of Ka.tie B.eth

Kath.erine's patron saint is St. Catherine of Sienna, a dynamic, passionate woman who was madly in love with Christ yet also not afraid to stand up for the truth.  Of course, our many Dominican friends are very pleased with this selection and have already told us our baby is "Dominican."  Don't know how the Poor Clares will feel about that one. :)

Kat.herine is also the name of my husband's grandmother's little sister, who died of tetanus at age 3.  His grandmother's middle name was Cather.ine.  So the name has familial significance as well.  As for spelling the name with a K, well, that was a bit of vanity on my part because that's my first initial too. :) Until Kati.e Be.th gets married, we will have the same initials.  So we can share all of those cute monogrammed items!! Bwa  ha ha ha!

The middle name, Eliza.beth, was rather easy.  That is my middle name and several women in my mom's side of the family share the middle name as well.  It's my sister's first name too.  I have long wanted to pass along my middle name to a future daughter.

It took a while to decide on which St. Eliz.abeth to pick.  We finally settled on my patron, Elizabeth, the mother of St. John the Baptist.   My parents gave me her as my patron after it took them a long time to become pregnant with me (funny how history repeats itself!).  We know St. Elizabeth has prayed for us during our infertility journey, so it only seems right to honor her in this way.

Just a disclaimer: As Catholics, we ASK saints to pray for and guide us, but we do NOT worship them. :)

Kati.e Be.th's nickname just sort of happened.  Some friends asked if it was due to our residing in the South.  Nope; we have both liked some of the 2-name combinations (Mar.y Kat.e, M.ary Be.th, etc.).  So there you have it.  We look forward to someday telling our daughter the significance of her two names.  It feels so surreal that a child will actually receive these names; for so long this has been a faraway dream.  

By the way, heartburn has been my constant companion lately.  I'm using it as a chance to pray for and offer it up for all of you still waiting....

10 Surprising Things About Me (a bit late)

Last week, several bloggers put together a "10 Surprising Things About Me" list and tagged other blogs to get in on the fun.  Thankfully, Faith and Family Live blogger Danielle Bean took the initiative to tag anyone who had not yet made such a list.  After a week of severe fall allergies, hectic schedule, and a huge amount of pregnancy-induced fatigue, it's a miracle that this list came together!!

1. Green Beans are evil. No matter what delectable sauce or bacon grease is used to enhance the flavor, I will never EVER like green beans. They still make me gag!

2. I can remember obscure dates: wedding anniversaries, birthdays, dates of death, my sacrament dates, and sometimes random events. But when it comes to remembering where my sunglasses or cell phone ended up, all bets are off.

3. Since childhood, I have loved to read voraciously (thanks, Mom). In fact, like my grandpa, I will be so absorbed in a story that someone could talk to me and I never hear them. My husband has discovered this to his chagrin, so if he’s trying to say something, he’ll tell me, “All right, Grandpa K, time to listen!”

4. While we’re on the reading track, my favorite genre is historical fiction. My 2 favorite authors are Cli.ve Cussl.er and Bo.die & Bro.ck Theon.e. These authors have put together books that help me delve further into history. I love it when a book impels me to look up locations and historical events online to provide a better context.

5. My BA was in journalism. After college I did youth ministry, which lead into teaching. Should have been an education major. Hindsight is 20/20. The one talent retained from my degree? Completing a 5-page paper in record time. Remembering random things from the AP stylebook.

6. Take a look at my DVD collection and you will find quite an array of Dis.ney and other kids’ movies. The collection did not transpire in the hopes of having kids someday; I truly enjoy these movies! And I score brownie points when friends bring their kids over to my house. One of my favorite kids’ movies to quote is The Emper.or’s New Gro.ove.

7. I’ve been blessed to see Pope John Paul II in person 3 times (Mass in the L.A. Coliseum, World Youth Day Rome, World Youth Day Toronto), and Pope Benedict once (papal audience). Each time was a thrilling experience. For our honeymoon in Rome, we had Sposa Novelli (newlywed) tickets which gave us a 2nd row seat. When the pope came by, he was very very close.  (I'm the second person dressed in white from the left)

8. Winter is yucky. Love Fall and Spring, albeit the allergies. Love most of summer. But winter is grey, mundane, and cold. This is not just because of my California roots.  Maybe it's because my favorite color is blue.

9. My husband and I met on Catholic.Match.com in 2002. After dating long distance for 2 years, I packed up my blue car and drove across the country to live closer to him. Many people are surprised to learn this idea came from my parents, who also chose to live closer to each other prior to becoming engaged. Obviously, things worked out very well. We truly got to know each other through every day contact instead of visits every couple months.

10. I do not have graceful arms. That’s why Irish dancing works so well for me; the arms stay down at my side except during dances with other people. In other dance forms like ballet and Scottish, my arms never look nice and rounded.

Well, as part of this list effort, I will tag anyone who has not written a top 10 list, including these lovely ladies:

K at Journal of a Nobody
M at H Family Happenings
D.C., Baby!
RyanAnn, who doesn't have a blog but should post something like this on Face.book

7 Quick Takes...Yep, I'm on the Bandwagon

OK, I finally did it.  I gave in.  A thoughtful blogpost became lost amid the first week of school.  However, coming up with 7 random things makes it easier.  Perhaps the writing juices will flow more!!

1.  Faith and Family Live (a popular Catholic blog) recently had an excellent post on reaching out to women dealing with Infertility.  It's worth reading the many heartfelt responses. 

2.  Half of our driveway looks like a rock pit.  The city installed a backflow valve so as to help us avoid the nasty sewage seepage that invaded our house this past May.  They only tore up the part of the driveway for which the city is liable; we have to cover the rest.  I will post a picture soon; the driveway looks rather funny.

3.  In the first week of college football, both of my favorite teams won!!  That trend will most likely not continue, but at least the season started on a good note.  Go FIGHTING IRISH and UK Wildcats!

4.  We assembled the crib and picked out a glider last weekend, both of which were on our list of "Things We Can't Do After the Baby Comes."  The next rather painful task is selecting a (newer) family car.  My husband keeps bringing up a 1970s wood panel station wagon.  Yeah, right!  I answered that HE would have to drive it to work.

5.  Last night I had horrible, tightening pains which caused a phone call to my midwife (she gave me her cell #; how awesome is that!). Thankfully, the pain was muscular, not labor.  It was a bit scary to think that the baby could be coming right then.  All You Who Hope alluded to this in her recent post, but buying/receiving all this baby stuff still feels very surreal.  In my particular case, I packed away all hopes of pregnancy in order to cope with IF.  Then when this miracle happened, I've had to unpack those feelings and hopes, as well as convince myself (again) that this is actually happening.   

6.  I neglected to point out in my last post that a "novena" is typically 9 days of prayer for a specific intention.  It hearkens back to the apostles praying in the Upper Room for 9 days between Jesus' ascension and Pentecost.  One of the advantages of a novena is that it brings the intention more to the forefront of your mind.  There are about 15 women in my local area participating in this novena, and so many of you have been included in this prayer effort. :) 

7.  On Wednesday during Latin class, I pointed out to the students that Star.bucks used one of our vocabulary words (via, meaning road or way) as the name of their instant coffee packets.  I'm sure they'll impress the baristas.  In case this looks like a plot to receive Star.bucks cards for teacher gifts, the entire student body knows of my addiction, I mean, affection, for Starbu.cks.  So it's nothing new....