New Look, New Year, Random Stuff

Greetings, blogosphere!  I've been lacking in the inspiration department lately, so that's the lame excuse for the lack of posts as of late.  Additionally, school is about to start.

After watching several blogs undergo beautiful transformations, I started hunting for a fresh, updated look for this blog.  While I did find a sweet template, quite a few of my photos were thrown off.  And I still want to make a header with multiple photos...can anyone enlighten me because Googl.e hasn't. :)

In the Baby News Department, Baby Girl continues to grow and kick.  She is definitely dancing inside!  To my disbelief, I have officially entered the final trimester.  My nerves continue to grow.  The baby's room is finally getting organized.  One of the stressful details has been sorting the clothes.  I found a wonderful do-it-yourself idea on a blog, speedily went to Michael's, and copied and used it to separate Baby Girl's ever growing wardrobe.  Ah, much better...

In the Random Useless News department, my dear hubby took me to our state fair on Saturday.  Having gone many times to the Calif.ornia Stat.e Fair, I wanted to see how Ken.tucky compared.  Unfortunately, I have to cast the vote for my home state.  But the Ken.tucky fair had its share of weirdness.  The "big food" item this year is a Krisp.y Kre.me Bur.ger.  Ugh.  The photo below probably doesn't do it justice: think of a regular cheeseburger, except instead of buns, there are 2 Krisp.y Kr.eme Doughnuts holding the heart attack (I mean burger) together.  There was quite a line in front of the stand!

Today is also my birthday.  The past few years have felt bittersweet due to infertility.  Strangely enough, while my heart feels joy at the new life inside, relief seems to overshadow everything.  Last year I thought my first birthday as a mother would feel more complete, more right, etc.  Instead, there is relief that the IF chapter has been solved (for now) mixed with a bit of apprehension of what next year's birthday will be like ("come on, hubby, we need another diaper before we go out for my birthday drink at Star.bucks!").  As always, every birthday reminds me to thank God for another year of life.  We have known friends and even family who have died young, so I try to look at that side of the coin rather than my wrinkles.

To see just how old I really am, check out the hidden clubhouse at Disney.land that I must see before kicking the bucket someday.  RyanAnn and Jeremiah should know what this is right away:

Praying for "Pray, Hope, and Don't Worry..."

This summer a large number of bloggers did a "Prayer Buddy" campaign, and I had the privilege of praying for Pray, Hope, and Don't Worry.  She is an amazing, courageous woman who has endured multiple failed adoptions and the pain of infertility.  A couple weeks ago, she adopted a precious baby girl!  I've relished all of the pictures of her holding her long awaited daughter.  What a blessing to see the painful wait ended and the joy begun.  Of course, many people have been praying for PHDW and her husband for a while (heck, her sister-in-law is a Poor Clare nun!), so I'm glad to have added my little prayers to all of theirs.  PHDW also exemplifies a hard lesson we all try to learn: never give up, trust in God.

God bless your new journey as a mom!  (By the way, I will mail your package this week.  Sorry it's a bit late!)

Thanks, TCIE and JBTC for organizing the prayer buddy effort. :)

Back in the Saddle Again...

Thanks for the anniversary wishes!  I had a whirlwind trip to the West Coast and enjoyed catching up with family and friends.  Jet lag, which normally doesn't affect me much, had nearly pounded me to the floor the past couple days.  So lest my words come out unintelligible, here is a photo essay of my trip with a few pithy captions.  Fellow ex-Californians may recognize some of the food joints.  Warning: some baby shower photos at the end.

In honor of Jeremiah, I begin with a shot of food from our favorite eatery.

(I just had to snap a picture of this tool!)

This place has the best chocolate dipped cones ever!  Also, it used to be a gas/service station before the new owners converted it into a restaurant.

Here are the baby shower photos.  My mom and sister hosted the event.  It was awesome to catch up with family and friends that have been a part of my childhood and beyond!

This gorgeous shot displays the decadent awesomeness of the shower cake.  Four years ago, my hubby and I ordered our wedding cake from the same local bakery.  Unfortunately, we did not get a chance to eat much of it due to the large party.  Also, our favorite layer (which looked just liked this) was the first to be eaten.  So having this cake at the shower was a very special treat!  And yes, I am the type of sweet lover to photograph the inside of a cake and gaze at it longlingly.

Last, but not least, here is one of my shower favors.  I just love coffee and was so excited to incoporate it into a shower favor!

4 Years Have Passed Quickly...

I'm composing this post on the eve of my 4th wedding anniversary.  Most of tomorrow will be spent on a plane headed to the West Coast, so time to celebrate now!!

The past 3 years have felt a bit frustrating to celebrate each anniversary childless.  However, this year, those feelings seem more like battle scars that we can say, "We got through it."  I don't feel more "complete" per say; just more grateful.  Last Saturday we saw our friends who recently adopted their adorable boy from South Korea.  I told my hubby that IF had been worth it; God used our struggles to push us towards adoption, which made us recommend it to our friends, who are now parents.  And I can't begin to list the many graces and friends that have come forth as the result of IF.

I continue to think back to that pivotal question during the C.atholic Rite of Marriage: "Will you accept children..."  The short question holds within itself a multitude of "ifs."  Will you accept children if they take a long time and much effort to conceive?  Will you accept adopted children?  Will you accept a child of another race or ethic background?  Will you accept the long, long wait?

Throughout the past 4 years we've had our share of ups and downs. By far the biggest burden has been infertility.  From day 1 my husband has held me while I cried about the latest pregnancy announcement, another failed test, another round of uncomfortable meds, a misunderstanding OB. I agree with many of the other IF-bloggers: IF made my husband and me stronger as a couple.  I thank God every day for the gift of the love of my life, and I'm grateful He brought our lives together.  My hubby never ceases to make me smile.

Here are some pictures from our wedding.  Yes, blue is my favorite color.  The church just happened to match my color scheme! 

I carried pink roses in my bouquet in honor of St. Therese. :)

Another Miracle in the IF Blogosphere

This quick post comes after a tiring week of putting our bathroom back together (remember the pathetic toilet leaning on its side on the garage floor?) in time to get our house appraised for a Re-Fi.  Additionally, I leave for the West Coast on Thursday.  What timing.

Anyway, I am jumping up and down to report the exciting adoption news of a fellow blogger.  She has endured failed adoptions and years of IF heartache.  God has turned her sorrow into joy!  Her baby girl is absolutely adorable. :)  Congratulations, R!

An Interview & the return of BOOs and YEAs

About 6 months ago, Lisa of CatholicMom.com interviewed me about infertility and the SHE group.  I knew she would post the subsequent article when she had a chance; thus, the interview completely slipped my mind.  Well, to my surprise the article was posted today on the website!!  I feel so touched and honored that she would make more people aware of infertility.

BOOs of the Week:

1.  Back to School sales.  Even though I work as a teacher, these sales hearken the end of summer.
2.  My city has decided to embark on numerous construction projects...simultaneously.  On most of the busy roads.  Great timing.

YEAs of the Week:

1.  The priest who officiated at our wedding came to visit us on Wednesday and Thursday.  He offered Mass in our home on Thursday morning before leaving...WOW.  Completely awesome! 

2.  Spiritual direction: what a difference a meeting makes!

3.  I couldn't keep my nose out of The Boylen Inheritance, a historical fiction novel by Philippa Gregory.  Although some risque and inappropriate scenes appear in the book, the overall plot is fast-moving.  One theme really struck me: the desire for a child, specifically a son.  Two of the women in the novel (Ann of Cleves and Katherine Howard) were under tremendous pressure to provide an heir to the throne.  Any failure to do so was considered the woman's fault, no matter the age of the husband.  I think of the stresses of the IF journey; how horrid it must have been to endure IF and the demands for a child.

Our baby girl moves (when I can feel her) about twice a day.  Sometimes she makes me a little seasick.  Still, I'm grateful for these movements, as they help reinforce the fact that this pregnancy is not a dream.

Thoughts On Finding Out...

Some time ago I meant to write a post about this topic, but like many blog post topics, it fell by the wayside. At least this week I can claim the excuse of a catching a sinus infection just after the 4th of July.  And just a disclaimer: I composed this post 2 hours ago before reading Wheelbarrow Rider's excellent post on her little one on the way.  This is not a response, just my musings.  As an added bonus, today I got to have caffeine, which always helps the words to flow more freely. ha!

I haven’t posted any pregnant belly pictures yet because there really isn’t one. Prior to pregnancy I had dropped some pounds, but not enough to make my tummy flat. Now at 21 weeks, I don’t look all that pregnant. The PA at my doctor’s office even asked me yesterday, “You’re pregnant, right?” Still, I’m sure the belly is coming one of these days, so I will post a picture when that happens. My appetite is slowly returning, which ought to help my hubby, who has been heroically finishing my meals!

One of the questions we have been asked frequently is, “Will you find out the gender of the baby?” Every couple needs to answer this question on their own. I definitely admire the couples that choose to wait.  For my husband and me, we both agreed the answer was YES. I personally wanted a deeper connection to the baby by knowing its gender and calling it by name. The control-freak, planner side of me also liked the idea of knowing which colors to buy (not just pink, but colors that coordinate with it).

Something else that surprised me was an instant bond that formed upon finding out about our little girl. I had approached the first 12 weeks of pregnancy with caution, fear, and a bit of distance. Yes, joy became mixed in there, but fear was ever prevalent. The pessimistic and control freak side (see a pattern here?) wanted to be ready in case of miscarriage, since I had assumed I would never get pregnant. Again, these feelings are common in women who get pregnant after IF. However, something changed upon seeing our baby girl on the fuzzy ultrasound screen. I felt more like she was mine. Recently she has started to kick a bit, which makes it even more real.  Like I said, this is my personal experience.  As any pregnancy book will point out, each pregnancy and baby is different.

And with every kick, please know that I am praying for my IF friends. :)

p.s.  Here are the cupcakes I made for a 4th of July party.  I love experimenting with frosting colors.