Quick Pic Friday

Since this has been a crazy week I only have time for photos.  First of all, try to guess who we are rooting for in the NCAA tournament.  I doubt Big Blue will prevail over Big Red, but it's fun to dress up KB:

KB also support her Irish ancestry, as modeled in this St. Patrick's Day pic with her Daddy:

God bless all bloggers and lurkers!

The $14 Cake Mix Experiment

My last few posts have been on the serious side, so it's time for one of a lighter fare.  I had hoped to post this on Fat Tuesday, but time got away from me.  And it just seemed wrong and hurtful to write about cupcakes on Ash Wednesday, a day of fasting.  Warning to all of you who gave up sweets for Lent: this post involves tasty cupcakes.

So, I have a love-hate relationship with Willi.am-Sonom.a.  I love browsing the various kitchen gadgets, indulging in the samples, and occasionally taking a cooking class.  I loathe the insanely high prices.  One item that has always perplexed me is the Spri.nkles cupcake mix, costing $14 a can.  Seriously, $14?  I could make 13 boxes worth of cupcakes for that price.  Behold, the famous can:

Well, this past January W-S put a can of Spri.nkles mix on clearance.  Finally, I had a chance to give into my curiosity of why a small can costs so much.  A girlfriend from a Catholi.c prayer group offered to make a dozen cupcakes from store-bought mix so we could compare the two at the next gathering.  The showdown was set!!

To start off, I was rather dismayed to discover that the can only makes 12 cupcakes. Most box mixes make 24.  In addition, the can only contains the mix and the iconic Sprin.kles logo sprinkles.  Oh, and a recipe card.  Yea.  The mix required the addition of 1 stick of butter, milk, eggs, and oil (?).  In my haste to keep KB fed and happy, I accidentally added 2 sticks of butter ("Just call me Pau.la Dean," I told my husband).  Then came making the delicious butter cream frosting, which called for 2 sticks of butter.  That's right, those 12 cupcakes upon completion contained FOUR STICKS OF BUTTER.  I can visualize the painful winces of my general physician.

I brought the butter-laden cupcakes (sans the Spr.inkles decoration) to the prayer group meeting.  My friend brought her cupcakes for the all-important taste test (my cupcake is on the right).

After our in-depth analysis of the delicious cupcakes, we determined that both taste great.  The W-S cupcake had the consistency of a from-scratch cupcake.  But then again, perhaps the butter caused that texture.  Perhaps I will add a stick of butter to my next boxed cake mix.  Anyway, the boxed mix cupcake had a more moist consistency.  We agreed that the homemade butter cream frosting would work well on any cupcake.

The findings of this tasty experiment?  The $14 cupcake mix is SO not worth the price.  Better to make your own from a box or indulge in one of the many cupcake bakeries around town.  :)  Perhaps when Lent is over I will come up with another food experiment.  Feel free to submit any ideas in the comment box!

The Costs of Infertility

Still behind.  Christmas tree?  Still in the corner of our family room.  Thank you notes?  Almost done.  Evenings? Hectic catch-up.  Blogging?  Been rather unfaithful.

Thanks for the advice for the engaged couples in the previous post.  I even took the book that TW recommended to the weekend.  The couples were very receptive when I shared our journey of infertility.

This post has long been on my heart but I could never find the right time to let it flow.  I've mentioned the fruits that have come from my infertility, but not the big costs.  Contrary to popular belief, IF continues its effects through pregnancy and even afterward.  Many people are shocked to hear that.  In no way do the following costs make me ungrateful for the gift of KB. 

IF cost me financially.  For example, Femara was $130 per month. 

IF cost me emotionally.  Enough said.  I could never fully convince myself that it wasn't my fault.  And now that motherhood has come, the worries of inadequacy come even stronger (what if this is my one shot?  I better enjoy it).

IF cost me the friendships of 2 IF friends who no longer speak to me because I now have a baby.

IF cost me the joy in the early weeks of my pregnancy.  I was absolutely petrified of miscarriage.

IF cost me the hope planning pregnancies normally. A child does not come on a platter, at least in my case.  Currently, I grapple with the knowledge that I am not ready for another baby. Yet my husband and I have always hoped for at least 2 kids so they can have siblings.  Are we closing the door of conceiving by waiting?  Or will my possible plans to further my education jeopardize a future adoption?  How I would love to be like women who can plan and space their children.

(I realize that God's providence plays a roll in this, but we have to do our part too).

The costs have taken a toll.  I never expected to feel these emotions.  But as my mom often reminds me, the IF experience always stays with you.  Perhaps mine has just taken much longer. 

The costs were high, but so worth taking them on in order to wake up to this little face every morning:

I've done too many serious posts lately, so next one will talk about a cake mix experiment!

What advice would you give?

Greetings, blogosphere.  Many thanks for the kind words in my last post.  For a great laugh today, check out JBTC's mini cheese heads for her cats.

Although KB is almost 3 months old, juggling part time teaching, the house, and every day life has been a challenge.  I would love to blog more (thanks to the poster who alerted me to the iPo.d Blogger app) but posts are hard to formulate when KB wakes up from her short naps.  To our great surprise and delight, KB has been sleeping 6-7 hours every night since 6 weeks old.  Woo-hoo!  For the record, I did the same thing as a baby (I was BF exclusively).  Thank God she inherited that.

So, on to my question.  This weekend my hubby and I will help present at a marriage prep weekend.  You can count on some great comments from me during the s.exu.ality talk about infertility.  But I'm wondering...what advice to you wish someone would have told you about marriage/family/etc. before you got married?  Please share and I will relay your pearls of wisdom to the wide-eyed engaged couples. ;)

KB and I are in search of spring weather.  It's hiding somewhere.

Start 'em young! :)

"Fruit" from Barrenness

I’ve written a few times of the oximornic “fruit” that has come forth from my infertility journey. One of the best fruits has been meeting so many of you virtually through the IF blogosphere. Other bloggers have testified to the same happening. A special hello to the lurkers out there; some of you have been pointed to my blog from my friends. Thanks for reading.

As long time readers may recall, about this time last year I was losing weight in the hopes of adopting from South Korea. My husband and I had embraced (and still do) adoption wholeheartedly. One night in the summer of 2009, I mentioned to my friend C about our adoption process. C and her husband had gone through the China adoption process and were waiting for a referral. Unfortunately, adoption in China has majorly slowed down in the past few years. C and her husband’s log in date was in 2006. When I told them of the relatively short wait for Korea (9 months), they decided to investigate it.

Fast forward to January of 2010. C excitedly posted a picture of their referral, an adorable little boy. In May of 2010, C and her husband travelled to South Korea and brought home their son, Andrew. Ironically, they also chose the name we would have given to a Korean son, after St. Andrew Kim.

C’s referral happened just before I became pregnant in 2010. I must say, this event really made my infertility journey worth it. If God had told me that my infertility journey, which lead to NaPro, which lead to adoption, would help others, perhaps I would have been more willing. I’m grateful that God used this journey to make C a mother.

A few weeks ago, C, her husband, and little Andrew came over to meet Katie Beth in person. We took this picture, one we had never fathomed possible in such short time: both of us mothers, holding our babies.

The “fruit” came from years of bitter sorrow, but oh, the joy….

p.s.  KB is almost 3 months old!  The time is flying by.  I relish staying home with her.  All those years of waiting make every moment with her (ok, well almost) that much sweeter.  And I'm not worried that our Christmas tree is still set up; it makes a great night light.  We don't intend to imitate JellyBelly's friend, though.

Telling a Story With Ornaments

Still behind. Our Christmas tree, sans ornaments, is STILL up in our living room. Oh well, that’s how we roll! Anyway, this post has been floating in my head since the beginning of December!


Ornaments tell a story. For that reason, ornaments are one of my favorite gifts to receive from family and friends. I’m a sucker for mementos anyway (just ask my husband or mom). Ornaments make wonderful mementos, pulled out of boxes year after year, attached to some memory: a new house, a trip to Notr.e Da.me for a football game, etc.

I still have ornaments from my days as a high school youth minister, an elementary school student, or even a preschooler (don’t worry, I’ll spare you the latter). My husband still has the plush Tig.ger ornament I gave him the first Christmas we began dating. I also have many childhood ornaments, including a plush velvet stocking from one of my early Christmases. Since starting a family (which began on our wedding day, not the day we became pregnant), the ornaments have also told a story:

First Christmas together, 2006:

Last year (December 2009) I decided to make an ornament to remember my journey (at the time) towards adoption. I even chose the South Korean flag colors as the background. While painting the ornament with fellow blogger Molly, I thought about holding a sweet Korean baby in my arms the following Christmas.

That same year, the IF blogsphere began a prayer buddy effort. My Advent Prayer buddy was In All Things Good, who also started a blog called D.C. Baby. She sent me this beautiful hand woven basket ornament from somewhere in Africa. Inside, she enclosed a handwritten note containing a prayer asking God to send me a child.

2009 came, thankfully, to an end. 2010 arrived and became one of the most exciting years of my life. Around mid-December, I finally hung the ornaments on the tree, which was a miraculous feat to perform with a newborn in the house. After waiting so long, this was the first ornament that went on the tree:

I also loved this ornament at the mall:

Not surprisingly, the “waiting for baby” ornament hung nearby. I plan to arrange those two ornaments likewise next year. The “waiting” ornaments will always remain a powerful reminder of the long journey it took for KB to come into our lives. Perhaps in a future Christmas she will understand their story. I think infertility should never be forgotten. Amid the whirlwind of KB’s arrival, the ornaments became a powerful memory of sorrowful days past that now point to the gift known as Katie Beth. As an added bonus, my Advent prayer buddy gave birth to her baby boy 2 weeks after KB.

I don’t know what additional ornaments we will have on the tree in December 2011. But I know the story will continue…

Prayer buddy reveal and a miracle to report

I am WAY behind.  Some of our friends and family are only now receiving Christmas cards.  Oh well, better late than never, eh? (the "eh" is a shout out to a certain Canadian IF friend).  This past Advent I was honored to pray for Hope and Faith, a delightful blogger traversing through PCOS among other things.  She has a wonderful husband and stepson to support her along the journey.  I especially admire her perseverance, which I am especially lacking these days.

Also, among the many miracles that have occurred in the blogosphere (A Complicated Life, yea!), one happened to a friend for whom I've been hoping and praying for a long time.  Her past 3 pregnancies have ended in miscarriage, the most recent happening this past spring.  Her faithfulness to God and ability to keep going amid crippling sorrow never ceases to amaze me.  PLEASE add her to your prayer list.  I am so longing to one day share in their joy at a baptism of a child, rather than its funeral (I've been to the last 2).

In thinking about the community on the IF blogosphere and the recent miracles, this verse really exemplifies the wonderful bloggers and lurkers:

Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.  --Romans 12:15