Belated Birth Announcement & Coming out of the blurr

Many, many thanks for your loving comments and prayers in my last post.  Quite literally, I felt as if my hospital room and operating room were bathed in prayer.  From the beginning of my birth experience, starting with the midwife telling me to go to the hospital instead of my house to the C-Section, to having to give up nursing (hence, the blurr of this week), it's been clear that things have been outside of my control.  Infertility definitely taught me that concept. 

I felt very priveledged to pray for you and your intentions.  There were plenty of opportunities beyond the IV.  Even the epidural caused its share of pain and I wasn't even in labor to appreciate its benefits. :P  After the picture below, I'll share some of the brief highlights and lowlights of the birth and subsequent week.  So if this is not a good day to read about such details, now is a good place to stop.  Thanks for your prayers!

Kath.erine Eliza.beth, aka K.atie Be.th, was born safely via C-Section on 11/11/10 at 5:25pm.  6lbs, 10 oz.  Here's one of the pics from the hospital.

Most surprising moment: "You're going to have a baby in the next couple days." -the midwife.  Second most surprising moment: the hospital had incredible food.  Really!

Most uncomfortable chairs on the planet:  The recliner my husband slept in next to my bed.

Most ironic decision: the C-Section:  After spotting very, very dangerously low amniotic fluid in my ultrasound (indicated that the placenta had shut down), the midwife gave me two choices: C-Section or endure a full day of induction, followed by another day of labor, which could still end up in a C-Section.  I knew that my baby wasn't ready to come out yet; that day the midwife found out I had dilated to 1 cm.  No contractions.  My husband and I were afraid of the stress labor would cause to the baby. 

Most confirmation that it was the right decision: During the C-Section the doctor discovered that the baby had the cord wrapped around her neck 2 times.

Most random comment during surgery: (as I lay on the table, somehow coherent) "I've heard some animals eat their placenta."  The doctor answered, "I hear there's a recipe book for making food items out of placenta, including a recipe for placenta pizza."  A collective "GROSS!" rose up from the room of doctors and nursers.

Most motivation during painful moments: thinking about all of my IF friends and getting the baby out.

Most touching moment: hearing the baby's first cry.  Also, the hospital photographer took some cute photos of the baby and put them in a power point slide show along with background music.  The pictures caused me to start crying, because they made me realize fully the extent of this little miracle.  My husband started to cry too.  In disbelief, the photographer asked, "Oh no, is it because you don't like the photos?"  We assured her that we did and that our tears were happy ones, due to our long wait for a baby.  If that didn't convince her, the fact that we bought a photo package did. :)

Most numbing drugs: OK, this is really hilarious, but the anesthesiologist at this particular hospital is known for his VERY numbing epidurals.  He even gave me some medicine to relax after the baby was born, so much so that I slept through the last 45 minutes of surgery (probably a good thing).  The nurses call his epidurals by his last name.

Most awesome support: All the labor/delivery nurses and mother-baby nurses were incredible.  They enjoyed the candy that I brought for them. Also, my midwife who has been working with me the past 9 months participated in the surgery.  She even held my shoulders and hands while the doctor did the epidural.

Most missed people: my parents in California.  We sky.ped with them after the birth/recovery, but they were missed. 

Biggest surprise:  Recovering from the C-Section went very well.  I was able to walk around 2 days after the surgery.  By the time we went home I felt strong enough to walk around.  The pain pills helped tremendously.

Biggest letdown: I had hoped to nurse from the get-go.  But our baby did not gain enough weight and my milk came in slowly.  We had to supplement briefly with formula.  But even before that, she began to have issues with nursing.  I've had the lactation consultant at my house two days in a row! From what we can gather, my positioning etc. is fine but the baby just doesn't want to nurse.  She screams and fights me every single time.  This had been a long-time wish of mine to do and it was CRUSHINGLY painful to have to give it up after a week.  I'm still pumping but we have to supplement.  I'm not going to get into the arguments of formula vs. nursing (both are worthy options and a personal decision); once again, it's hard to have a deep plan or desire and have to give it up.  Do we see a trend here?

This past week has been very difficult, full of adjustments and loss of sleep.  Despite all of that, we are in awe of our precious little miracle.  The fact that we had to wait so long makes her arrival that much sweeter.  I hope and pray for this moment to come soon for all of you.

Here's me on the front porch sporting the hospital bed hair look.  Yes, that is a St.arbucks cup in my hands; can I help it that my pain pills prescription was filled at a drugstore near my favorite coffee joint?  Don't worry, it's a carmel apple cider.

And finally, this was my favorite picture from the hospital.  If you've made it this far without suffering eye strain from my copious text, kudos to you!! :)

Thanks again for your prayers and encouragement!!  What an awesome community this blogosphere is!

Blog post from the hospital

Well, it appears that I jinxed myself in the previous post by proclaiming KB's late arrival.  During a routine doctor's appointment yesterday, the midwife saw severely low amniotic fluid.  So instead of heading home for the evening, she sent me right over to the hospital.  (Grrr.)  There have already been many opportunities to pray for all of your intentions (try having 5 IV sticking attempts).

By the way, it's super cool that our hospital has free wireless.  How appropriate to post from here. :)

So we were faced with 2 difficult decisions: have a C Section or induce labor.  Because I had only dilated to a mere 1 cm, the latter choice meant a potential for 1 day of induction plus 1 additional day of labor.  After some prayer and consult with each other and my mom, we decided to go for a C section.  That will happen late today, so any prayers are welcome.  I will ask my hubby to post a pic of the baby when things settle down. :)

Thanks for your encouragement and many prayers!

Send in the Petitions!

Arrg, another gap in posts.  No arrival of baby yet, but at least the "to do before she comes" list has been whittled down considerably. Add extra events (a friend's confirmation, All Soul's Day, Christmas shopping, doctor appointment, etc.) to schoolwork and time disappears quickly.

But now for the important part.  With my labor and delivery right around the corner, I would like to use the painful opportunity to pray for any and all prayer intentions you may have.  Other bloggers have done this in the past and I want to follow in the tradition.  Of course, I'm not as brave as some of the other bloggers who endured non-medicated labor; mine will include painkillers and an epid.ural.  But there are still fears of needles, a long labor, the painful after effects....not to mention my cluelessness about taking care of a newborn.  Fears about motherhood and if I'm really ready.  See, there will be plenty to offer up.

Catholics hold a great belief in the redemptive value of suffering. However, my tired brain is not up to writing a concise treatise on this matter, so I'll refer you here.  Suffice to say that offering up suffering while praying for others is akin to a child's painful cry piercing the heart of his mom or dad.

So, feel free to leave any petitions in the comment box, on Facebook, or email them to me.  And remember that as always, all you ladies still traversing IF remain in my prayers.  I will never, ever, forget. 

p.s.  Baby KB seems rather content in the womb, so it's looking like she will arrive past the Nov. 13 due date.

Thoughts from the not-so-home stretch

Greetings from your intrepid blogger.  I'm loving the fact that my local weather still hovers in the 70s, meaning I can wear my beloved FitFlops without worry of cold weather.  As luck would have it, I'm attempting to get some advanced planning and schoolwork done before D-Day only to find blogging a more desirable alternative.  Obviously, the baby hasn't arrived yet.  She hasn't even caused a contraction, so I'm beginning to think she has inherited my tendency towards procrastination.

We had a scare last week at my weekly appointment.  The ultrasound revealed low (but not dangerously) amniotic fluid.  The doctor ordered me to cease all intense activity and drink about 80 oz of water a day.  So last week became more low-key than originally planned.  It nearly drove me crazy, but the possibility of total bedrest (not my favorite option) loomed as the next step.  Thankfully, this past Monday's ultrasound revealed that the fluid had increased to a safer level.  Deo Gratias!

One of the major struggles I've had during this pregnancy is accepting the normal fears and anxieties as normal.  Instead, the effects of IF chastise me constantly: "Come on, this is what you always wanted... There are many other people that want this more than you..."  Many of pregnancy's crosses (heartburn, loss of sleep, achiness, etc.) have been harder to endure, as if there is something inside preventing these normal feelings of anxiety.  And don't get me started on the thoughts of "Am I really ready to become a mother?  How in the world will I care for a newborn?  What if my baby hates me?"  Again, according to the preggo books, such thoughts are normal.  Yet for an IF survivor, it's hard to give yourself permission to acknowledge their normalcy.  Does that make sense?  I say this often and will say it again: when the various pregnancy unpleasantries do occur, I pray for my IF sisters who are still waiting.  That will never change. 

This past Sunday our dear pastor gave me the Anointing of the Sick to help me prepare for the upcoming labor and childbirth.  All I can say is WOW!!  What an incredible sacrament.  The burdens that weighed so heavily became lighter.  Truly, I felt the strength to endure the days ahead.  I'm so glad that the Church allows people to receive the sacrament before surgery, etc. instead of only just before death as in years past.

In my next post, I will ask for any prayer petitions that you would like me to intercede for during labor & delivery.  So get those lists ready!!

p.s.  I hope to wear flip flops in November!! Ha.

That looks like a medieval device...

The more he compassionately witnesses my bouts with AF, various OB procedures, and the like, my husband has always asserted how glad he is to be a man.  On Monday while at the OB/GYN office for the now weekly exams, the nurse assistant pulled a specul.um out of the drawer.  "Honey, that is the evil device known as the speculu.m," I pointed out to my husband.  He's never seen one until now.

His eyes widened in horror and he replied, "That looks like medieval tor.ture device!"  The nurse and midwife chuckled, and agreed with him. Chock one more reason why he's happy to be a guy on the list.  As for me, I felt satisfaction in him learning about yet another aspect of womanhood that is invasive and painful.   A small victory! :)

Quick (Photo) Takes Friday!

Since my posting has been rather spotty lately, I thought it would be fun to post pictures for the 7 Quick Takes Friday...

1.  Last month, some dear friends threw a wonderful baby shower for me.  Among my many favorite memories, I was most touched by the fact that several friends from the IF support group came to celebrate.  Talk about true friends!!  Baby showers were always hard for me while enduring IF, so my IF friends' presence meant so much.

My friend and fellow local blogger Kerri!

The lovely hostesses!

2.  A huge event took place in my home state, the World Equestrian Games.  My Irish Dance group was invited to perform along one of the walkways leading towards the event areas.  To my pleasant surprise, I was still able to dance some of our routines by toning things down a bit and wearing sneakers.  I even turned a maternity dress into an impromptu costume!

3.  As I mentioned in my previous post, we finally FINALLY found & purchased our first "family" car.  My hubby and I both have driven sedans for a long time, but needed a car with more space for baby gear.  We were pleasantly surprised to find this model; it's big enough to haul baby stuff but not too large for me to maneuver around town.  I'm still trying to figure out how to get the blue tooth to make phone calls through the radio....  A huge bonus/nice providence was that the car salesman didn't give us any B.S.  He had previously lived in Southern California, so he and I reminisced about InNOut Burger, L.A. traffic, and the like.

 3.  I've been washing all of the blankets, linens, tiny outfits, etc. for the baby.  Finally, we can put all of those things in the nursery.  I should mention that this room has always been our guest room.  The previous owners painted it pink.  When we found out our baby was a girl, we decided to keep the color.  Yea for (slightly) less work!

 Our new glider/recliner.  I've slept in it one night already.

4.  Last weekend, my hubby and I went on a "babymoon."  It's a trip that a couple takes as their last hurrah before a child arrives.  We've had more than 4 years by ourselves, so we enjoyed savoring these last moments of togetherness while our child is quiet and portable. :)  Also, I was rather emotional about missing my brother's wedding and stressed about completing baby tasks; this getaway really helped me relax.  We had a very laid back, low cost trip to Cincinnati.

It may look like a tropical getaway, but this waterfall graces the tropical room at a local conservatory.



5.  I saw this ridiculous sign in our hotel bathroom.  Would you pay $15 for one of those bath towels? 

6.  I LOVE cats.  I actually invited  my friend's cat, Willow, to the baby shower.  She is the friendliest cat in the world.  At this point, our house is pet-free, so Willow is my "vicarious" cat.  My husband loves this because she lives at someone else's house.

7.  Finally, besides the coffee shower favors that I gave out, I also gave each guest one of these.  I'll never forget my IF journey, and I hope these little flowers will remind others to pray for those affected by IF.

Have a blessed weekend!!

Blogger MIA returns AND a Cool Gospel Passage

Remember me?  Suddenly 2 weeks have passed without so much of a blog post.  Sure, a few ideas floated around in my head, but no words made that critical journey from the mind to the fingers to the keyboard.  Before going further, I want to clarify that (1) The baby hasn't come yet, (2) We've had a lot of baby stuff to get done, (3) We are so relieved to have bought our family car, despite the fact it took 6 HOURS on a Monday to complete everything, (4) Pregnancy has brought on severe sleep apnea and I can't sleep, and (5) I'm starting to view labor, delivery and the care of a newborn with anxiety (aack!) and guilt ("you always wanted this, why are you freaking out?").  More about that in a later post.

In other news, my brother got married in Oregon this past weekend.  Since I'm 35 weeks pregnant, I didn't want to take the chance of something happening while there.  Not to mention a 5-hour cross country plane flight would be the ultimate discomfort.  Still, myriads of mixed feelings remained at having to miss his wedding.  We got pregnant after my brother announced his engagement.  At that point, my husband and I thought adoption was our path and figured that our attempts would never amount to a pregnancy.  Of course, my brother and the rest of my family were very happy and understanding of the circumstances, but I still felt guilty.  The day felt rather emotional, although my wonderful husband took me to Cincinnati for our "babymoon," which help assuage the sadness.  It occurred to me that missing of the wedding is one of many, MANY sacrifices on behalf of our child that will come in the future. 

Two weeks ago my parish celebrated its patronal feast, Our Lady of the Rosary.  That meant special readings proclaimed at Mass, including a Gospel that one normally hears around Christmastime or the Annunciation.  I couldn't help but get teary-eyed as the words were read about my patron saint, Elizabeth:

"And behold, Elizabeth, your relative, has also conceived a son in her old age, and this is the sixth month for her who was called barren; for nothing will be impossible for God." (Luke 1: 36, 37) 

In the last 3 years, I had the same reaction upon hearing the Gospel, except with tears of sadness.  This past Christmas, however, something in my heart stirred.  One day I'll hear this passage while holding a baby in my arms, whether from my body or from adoption.  One day.  All those previous years of wishing and waiting were made so very sweet in the reading of that part of the passage.  My husband smiled too, knowing that as Kati.e Bet.h kicked me in the womb, we echoed the same words: Nothing will be impossible for God. Nothing.  Even something like this happening to someone like me...