This quick post comes after a tiring week of putting our bathroom back together (remember the pathetic toilet leaning on its side on the garage floor?) in time to get our house appraised for a Re-Fi. Additionally, I leave for the West Coast on Thursday. What timing.
Anyway, I am jumping up and down to report the exciting adoption news of a fellow blogger. She has endured failed adoptions and years of IF heartache. God has turned her sorrow into joy! Her baby girl is absolutely adorable. :) Congratulations, R!
Monday, July 26, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
An Interview & the return of BOOs and YEAs
About 6 months ago, Lisa of CatholicMom.com interviewed me about infertility and the SHE group. I knew she would post the subsequent article when she had a chance; thus, the interview completely slipped my mind. Well, to my surprise the article was posted today on the website!! I feel so touched and honored that she would make more people aware of infertility.
BOOs of the Week:
1. Back to School sales. Even though I work as a teacher, these sales hearken the end of summer.
2. My city has decided to embark on numerous construction projects...simultaneously. On most of the busy roads. Great timing.
YEAs of the Week:
1. The priest who officiated at our wedding came to visit us on Wednesday and Thursday. He offered Mass in our home on Thursday morning before leaving...WOW. Completely awesome!
2. Spiritual direction: what a difference a meeting makes!
3. I couldn't keep my nose out of The Boylen Inheritance, a historical fiction novel by Philippa Gregory. Although some risque and inappropriate scenes appear in the book, the overall plot is fast-moving. One theme really struck me: the desire for a child, specifically a son. Two of the women in the novel (Ann of Cleves and Katherine Howard) were under tremendous pressure to provide an heir to the throne. Any failure to do so was considered the woman's fault, no matter the age of the husband. I think of the stresses of the IF journey; how horrid it must have been to endure IF and the demands for a child.
Our baby girl moves (when I can feel her) about twice a day. Sometimes she makes me a little seasick. Still, I'm grateful for these movements, as they help reinforce the fact that this pregnancy is not a dream.
BOOs of the Week:
1. Back to School sales. Even though I work as a teacher, these sales hearken the end of summer.
2. My city has decided to embark on numerous construction projects...simultaneously. On most of the busy roads. Great timing.
YEAs of the Week:
1. The priest who officiated at our wedding came to visit us on Wednesday and Thursday. He offered Mass in our home on Thursday morning before leaving...WOW. Completely awesome!
2. Spiritual direction: what a difference a meeting makes!
3. I couldn't keep my nose out of The Boylen Inheritance, a historical fiction novel by Philippa Gregory. Although some risque and inappropriate scenes appear in the book, the overall plot is fast-moving. One theme really struck me: the desire for a child, specifically a son. Two of the women in the novel (Ann of Cleves and Katherine Howard) were under tremendous pressure to provide an heir to the throne. Any failure to do so was considered the woman's fault, no matter the age of the husband. I think of the stresses of the IF journey; how horrid it must have been to endure IF and the demands for a child.
Our baby girl moves (when I can feel her) about twice a day. Sometimes she makes me a little seasick. Still, I'm grateful for these movements, as they help reinforce the fact that this pregnancy is not a dream.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Thoughts On Finding Out...
Some time ago I meant to write a post about this topic, but like many blog post topics, it fell by the wayside. At least this week I can claim the excuse of a catching a sinus infection just after the 4th of July. And just a disclaimer: I composed this post 2 hours ago before reading Wheelbarrow Rider's excellent post on her little one on the way. This is not a response, just my musings. As an added bonus, today I got to have caffeine, which always helps the words to flow more freely. ha!
I haven’t posted any pregnant belly pictures yet because there really isn’t one. Prior to pregnancy I had dropped some pounds, but not enough to make my tummy flat. Now at 21 weeks, I don’t look all that pregnant. The PA at my doctor’s office even asked me yesterday, “You’re pregnant, right?” Still, I’m sure the belly is coming one of these days, so I will post a picture when that happens. My appetite is slowly returning, which ought to help my hubby, who has been heroically finishing my meals!
One of the questions we have been asked frequently is, “Will you find out the gender of the baby?” Every couple needs to answer this question on their own. I definitely admire the couples that choose to wait. For my husband and me, we both agreed the answer was YES. I personally wanted a deeper connection to the baby by knowing its gender and calling it by name. The control-freak, planner side of me also liked the idea of knowing which colors to buy (not just pink, but colors that coordinate with it).
Something else that surprised me was an instant bond that formed upon finding out about our little girl. I had approached the first 12 weeks of pregnancy with caution, fear, and a bit of distance. Yes, joy became mixed in there, but fear was ever prevalent. The pessimistic and control freak side (see a pattern here?) wanted to be ready in case of miscarriage, since I had assumed I would never get pregnant. Again, these feelings are common in women who get pregnant after IF. However, something changed upon seeing our baby girl on the fuzzy ultrasound screen. I felt more like she was mine. Recently she has started to kick a bit, which makes it even more real. Like I said, this is my personal experience. As any pregnancy book will point out, each pregnancy and baby is different.
And with every kick, please know that I am praying for my IF friends. :)
p.s. Here are the cupcakes I made for a 4th of July party. I love experimenting with frosting colors.
I haven’t posted any pregnant belly pictures yet because there really isn’t one. Prior to pregnancy I had dropped some pounds, but not enough to make my tummy flat. Now at 21 weeks, I don’t look all that pregnant. The PA at my doctor’s office even asked me yesterday, “You’re pregnant, right?” Still, I’m sure the belly is coming one of these days, so I will post a picture when that happens. My appetite is slowly returning, which ought to help my hubby, who has been heroically finishing my meals!
One of the questions we have been asked frequently is, “Will you find out the gender of the baby?” Every couple needs to answer this question on their own. I definitely admire the couples that choose to wait. For my husband and me, we both agreed the answer was YES. I personally wanted a deeper connection to the baby by knowing its gender and calling it by name. The control-freak, planner side of me also liked the idea of knowing which colors to buy (not just pink, but colors that coordinate with it).
Something else that surprised me was an instant bond that formed upon finding out about our little girl. I had approached the first 12 weeks of pregnancy with caution, fear, and a bit of distance. Yes, joy became mixed in there, but fear was ever prevalent. The pessimistic and control freak side (see a pattern here?) wanted to be ready in case of miscarriage, since I had assumed I would never get pregnant. Again, these feelings are common in women who get pregnant after IF. However, something changed upon seeing our baby girl on the fuzzy ultrasound screen. I felt more like she was mine. Recently she has started to kick a bit, which makes it even more real. Like I said, this is my personal experience. As any pregnancy book will point out, each pregnancy and baby is different.
And with every kick, please know that I am praying for my IF friends. :)
p.s. Here are the cupcakes I made for a 4th of July party. I love experimenting with frosting colors.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Photos, BOOs, and YEAs!
Thanks for your encouragement in my last post about the Catholic Radio show. Everything went well and my NaPro doc and Creighton Instructor were very articulate.
A couple of bloggers have commented lately on the fruits that came from years of Infertility. While I hope to devote a future post to the topic, let me say that I wholeheartedly agree. At the top of the list is a definite closeness to my husband. Further down the list is my diminished fear of blood test needles, although the very thought of an IV still fills my veins with fear.
This past Monday I had a 20-week ultrasound. My belly was so sore afterwards, as the tech had to press VERY hard in order to get the baby on camera. It also didn't help that our Baby Girl spent the majority in the time in the fetal position (ironically, my favorite position for sleeping!) turned towards my backbone. Shyness? Maybe. Stubbornness? Maybe. Thankfully, everything looked OK. We had been warned by a couple friends that at some 20-week ultrasounds, the doctor will tell you absolutely everything that could be a problem. Praise God that this didn't happen.
3 Random BOO!s for the week:
1. The droning sound of vuvuzelas at the World Cup. While muting the TV could work, I would also miss the commentary of those reporters with wonderful Scottish and British accents. :)
2. For the past 4 years, only two people have lived in our house: my husband and me. However, if you look at the massive amounts of junk we have accumulated over the years, it looks like we have a basketball team living under our roof! My job this summer is to purge and make room for all the forthcoming baby items.
3. A local movie theater charged $9.50 for a matinee!?! Good thing I really wanted to see Toy.Story.3.
3 Random YEAs for the week:
1. Better photos of our Baby Girl!
2. The kindness of a friend who will accompany me tonight to register at Babies.R.Us (translation: el grande labyrinth of baby necessities and frivolity). Seriously, I have no clue what to put on the list other than a Boppy and a Starbuc.ks onezie. My friend has 2 kids with another on the way, so her opinion will really help a rookie like me!
3. Here are my "bibles" as the pregnancy continues. Fertile Thoughts talked about how much she loved her 40+ pregnancy planner and now I see why. Of course, I had to add a West Coast touch to the cover (pink flip flops). What to Expect is a comprehensive book that tells absolutely everything about pregnancy...I'm saving some chapters for later as my stomach can't take them right now. Finally, Baby Bargains (thank you, Lori!) has become the "bible" for registering. The book's authors (husband & wife as well as parents) write about the best and worst of everything from car seats to diapers. The recommendations are based on comments of parents around the country and quality tests.
Happy Canada Day to our neighbors in the north and Happy 4th of July to my fellow Americans!
A couple of bloggers have commented lately on the fruits that came from years of Infertility. While I hope to devote a future post to the topic, let me say that I wholeheartedly agree. At the top of the list is a definite closeness to my husband. Further down the list is my diminished fear of blood test needles, although the very thought of an IV still fills my veins with fear.
This past Monday I had a 20-week ultrasound. My belly was so sore afterwards, as the tech had to press VERY hard in order to get the baby on camera. It also didn't help that our Baby Girl spent the majority in the time in the fetal position (ironically, my favorite position for sleeping!) turned towards my backbone. Shyness? Maybe. Stubbornness? Maybe. Thankfully, everything looked OK. We had been warned by a couple friends that at some 20-week ultrasounds, the doctor will tell you absolutely everything that could be a problem. Praise God that this didn't happen.
3 Random BOO!s for the week:
1. The droning sound of vuvuzelas at the World Cup. While muting the TV could work, I would also miss the commentary of those reporters with wonderful Scottish and British accents. :)
2. For the past 4 years, only two people have lived in our house: my husband and me. However, if you look at the massive amounts of junk we have accumulated over the years, it looks like we have a basketball team living under our roof! My job this summer is to purge and make room for all the forthcoming baby items.
3. A local movie theater charged $9.50 for a matinee!?! Good thing I really wanted to see Toy.Story.3.
3 Random YEAs for the week:
1. Better photos of our Baby Girl!
2. The kindness of a friend who will accompany me tonight to register at Babies.R.Us (translation: el grande labyrinth of baby necessities and frivolity). Seriously, I have no clue what to put on the list other than a Boppy and a Starbuc.ks onezie. My friend has 2 kids with another on the way, so her opinion will really help a rookie like me!
3. Here are my "bibles" as the pregnancy continues. Fertile Thoughts talked about how much she loved her 40+ pregnancy planner and now I see why. Of course, I had to add a West Coast touch to the cover (pink flip flops). What to Expect is a comprehensive book that tells absolutely everything about pregnancy...I'm saving some chapters for later as my stomach can't take them right now. Finally, Baby Bargains (thank you, Lori!) has become the "bible" for registering. The book's authors (husband & wife as well as parents) write about the best and worst of everything from car seats to diapers. The recommendations are based on comments of parents around the country and quality tests.
Happy Canada Day to our neighbors in the north and Happy 4th of July to my fellow Americans!
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
NaPro on Catholic Radio!!
I'm thrilled to share that my esteemed NaPro doctor and Creighton Method Instructor will appear on our local Catholic radio station TOMORROW (Thursday) from 5:00-6:00pm EST. If you would like to listen live, go to this website (look for the red box on the right side that says "listen live"). Feel free to call in with any questions. I'll be in the studio as well to speak briefly about my own experience with NaPro. I hope and pray the word gets out, particularly to women whose doctors never seek to fully solve their reproductive problems.
P.S. Thanks again for your sweet congrats on my last post. Our baby girl has decided to press on my stomach, so I've lost my appetite and now my husband is the one eating for two. :) Isn't that crazy?
P.S. Thanks again for your sweet congrats on my last post. Our baby girl has decided to press on my stomach, so I've lost my appetite and now my husband is the one eating for two. :) Isn't that crazy?
Monday, June 14, 2010
Our Baby is a...
We had the gender-only ultrasound today so my parents could be there for the big news. Drumroll, please!
IT'S A GIRL! Yes, that is a pink "UK" newborn hat that I'm holding. And we all have chocolate "SeeGars" (made by the west coast favorite, See's Candies!). What a gift! We are so thrilled to call the baby "she" instead of "it." More later!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
In-Between
Just as things began to calm down, both my hubby and I came down with a hideous stomach bug during the holiday weekend. Yeah, lovely timing. Actually, my poor hubby got the worse end, having to endure fever and other intestinal unpleasantness. The unexpected couch time allowed me to process some of the tragedies that have happened lately- our former pastor sent to prison, my friend's miscarriage, the hurtful words of a someone who is going to outwardly treat me as a leper due to my pregnancy, the doubting that I can actually take care of a screaming newborn... the list goes on. Thus, I really haven't had the heart to write any blog posts. It's been hard enough to pray.
One of the mystifying aspects of this pregnancy after IF has been the "In-Between" stage. I feel like an outsider with my fellow IF friends (even though the solidarity and prayers for them always remain) because of getting pregnant. They don't make me feel this way ; I just don't have the same current experience. Yet I don't feel like a part of the Mom group either. I've desired motherhood ever since getting married and before, yet it looks especially daunting and scary now. Sometimes at church I become stressed or agitated when hearing lots of babies crying. "See, I won't be able to handle that," I tell my hubby. This whole puzzle seems quite ironic. During the throws of Infertility, all I could think of was the end goal of becoming a mother through pregnancy or adoption. Sure, the thoughts of diapers and inconsolable infants crossed my mind a time or too. But now, this is real. I really feel like a ship between two harbors, with no safe landing yet.
And a constant fear of miscarriage always nags my heart, every time I wait for the doctor to find the heartbeat on the Doppler. I remember crying for my friend K when she lost her 2nd baby at 22 weeks. However, when she lost this most recent child at 11 weeks, I cried harder, knowing now what she had inside of her.
My mom declared me in the "In-Between" stage when I wore both kids and junior clothing, making shopping rather laborious. :) This is a bit different.
Had I known this conflict would occur, I would have tried to prepare more in IF. Living Advent, who just had her baby girl (yea!) sent me a helpful link that showed my feelings were normal.
My parents and sister arrive tomorrow for a 10-day visit, so I will not be able to post as much. On June 14th we will have an ultrasound to see if Baby "Buford" is a boy or girl (I am not patient like Fertile Thoughts!) and will announce it to the blogosphere!
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