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New Boy on the Block, I mean, Blog!

I had hoped to post some thoughts before Baby Boy arrived last month, but time got away from me.  Without further adieu, meet little Joey, born on April 24th.

 Spectacular photo, courtesy of Cuddle Bug Photography

Little Guy minutes after birth.  The doctor had to push VERY hard to get him out of my belly!

So many family, friends, religious prayed for my delivery and I felt the effects!  My C-Section went smoothly, as did my recovery.  I met so many compassionate and kind nurses too.  Although I can't lift anything heavier than the baby for 3 more weeks, my body has healed nicely.  It's a big adjustment going from one child to two. Although KB pays attention to her brother for a few seconds and then ignores him (yea), trying to take care of two simultaneously has been challenging.  We're just taking things day by day.  Good thing Joey is rather mellow and flexible. 

Still praying for all IF friends still waiting...

Quick Takes Friday: Easter Octave Edition

Yes, sports fans, it's another attempt to prevent week-long gaps (or more) between blog posts.

1.  Easter Vigil at my husband's parish (his cousin became Catholic) + a 2-year-old + 8:30 start time = dreadful combination.  NEVER AGAIN.  KB took a couple of quick naps through the 2-hour Mass (sorry to say, but I'm glad they only did 5 readings instead of 9!), but stayed up past midnight.  We skipped the family photos, Easter Egg hunt, and a couple other things the next day because we were all so tired.  Lesson learned: get a baby sitter if we absolutely have to attend another Vigil in the next 8 years.

2.  One of the members of the SHE Infertility Support group here in town shared this review of a book she read.  Although the book's topic covered various saints, my friend found great insight into infertility and motherhood  thanks to the author's reflections.

3.  Weeks ago, I neglected to mention the excitement of the conclave and papal election.  Access to social media and portable devices made the news travel even faster than 2005.  I am so jealous of journalism students who get to work with these mediums, as most did not exist during my college career.  And what a relief that the election came during the afternoon of EST!!  I got to "watch" the coverage simultaneously with my brother in Oregon via Fac.e Time.  KB decided to nap during the big event.

4.  One of my favorite bloggers, Fr. Dwight, has penned several posts about the new pope.  This one is my favorite.  I definitely love and welcome Pope Francis, but have been a little bit surprised by some of his novel choices.  But it's his prerogative.  I hope he's able to reconcile some of the Eastern churches still in schism (a more urgent project, IMHO, than trying to bring back the SSPX).   Fr. Dwight's balanced approach between the "Pope Francis is better than his stiff predecessor " and "Give me back B16 because the sky is falling!" camps makes a lot of sense.  

5.  Baby Boy will arrive at the end of April via C-Section.  My doctor and I thought this was the best option, considering my age, medical history, and previous C-Section.  This decision raised so many eyebrows early in my pregnancy that I stopped talking about it all together.  But now I really don't care; after all, I recoil at the thought of giving birth naturally or languishing through labor.  Yet I avoid saying so to the women who choose these routes.  I just wish the same respect would be given in the other direction.  But the result is the same (a baby is born!), and my C-Section with KB went smoothly.

6.  Divine Mercy Sunday is this weekend!  Go here for more information on the background of this devotion and the feast of Divine Mercy.  I'm friends with several of the Marians of the Immaculate Conception, the order who runs the National Shrine of the Divine Mercy.

7.  I'm attempting to fill our freezer with meals, as some of the friends who helped me post-birth last time have moved away (come back, Molly!).  Unlike last time, I am armed with the power of Pinterest!!  Thanks to that addictive little bulletin board website, I have gleaned numerous tips and recipes.

Have a great weekend!

A Different Kind of Lent

(I actually started this post a week ago, but life and a toddler's earache got in the way!). 

A few years ago, my local bishop gave a talk on the topic of Lent.  He compared the annual season to a spiral staircase; each year was another step, winding up and down through our lives.  

Recently, I've really come to appreciate his image.  Some Lents go more smoothly than others.  Last year, the few Lenten goals my husband and I had set came to a screeching halt after my miscarriage.  After those terrible two weeks, I’m glad we even made it to Easter.  Other years have been more fruitful, the result of practicing a goal for the 40 days.  The single days and college Lents went well too.  But simply enduring another round of “Pan de Vida” without running in terror should count as penance, right?

This year, Lent is a bit different.  And that’s OK.  Being in the final trimester of a pregnancy and dealing with a strong-willed 2-year-old has been harder than I thought.  In fact, it’s an accomplishment if I can get through the day without losing my mind or temper. Thus, my Lenten practices are practically non-existent.  I’m grateful to have been spared fasting.   My husband and I have eaten the Girl Scout Cookies.  But at the same time, we’re dealing with the adjusting life of disciplining a toddler, preparation for a baby, SLEEP WAR Part 1 (more about that in a future post), and the little aches along the way. And we especially know that a few weeks from now, we will be balancing care of a needy newborn with an energetic toddler, while I recover from surgery.

Sometimes life hands us sufferings or periods of hardship.  Or, more accurately, Lent comes to you.  In the past three months, a friend lost her baby at 24 weeks gestation, another friend’s father passed away after a battle with cancer, and my own uncle is battling cancer while my aunt tries to care for him.  I think of my years of infertility, and of the friends and family members walking that journey right now.  

I’m not a fan of the classical pious images of Jesus on the way to His crucifixion: a barely bloody man, gazing up at the sky as if watching a comet.  Movies such as The Passion of the Christ give a more realistic (albeit very graphic) image of what He endured.  I also don’t appreciate the saints whose writings chastise us for not skipping joyfully to pick up our individual crosses, because apparently Jesus did.  Ok, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but there are saints who seem to like suffering a bit too much.  Instead, I think the images of the Passion of the Christ show suffering like an athlete whose eye is on the prize, getting through difficulty after difficulty.

Our big battle will be getting KB through the Easter Vigil at my husband’s parish.  One of his cousins is becoming Catholic, so we want to celebrate the occasion.  The curmudgeon in me wonders how long KB will stay awake and if the parish will make us sit through all 9 readings (yes, I know how symbolic they are, but the length of each one is rather extreme!!).

So this Lent has been a bit nonexistent in the staircase.  And that’s OK.  Really, my spiritual director said so. J  There will be future Lents for fish frys (we can’t go right now as KB doesn’t behave), setting goals, or special crafts like my mom did in our school age years.  

And that’s OK.  Time to take another step.  

Quick Takes: Meatless Edition

1.  Usually, this quick take would be dedicated to my annual statement, "No way, Lent already?"  However, today it's "No way, the Pope has resigned?"  Seeing  my news feed explode early Monday morning was a lot of fun.  I look forward to following the conclave, especially with the new additions of social media.  Some of the many wonderful blog posts about the matter include this article about an African Pope, Fr. Robert Barron's TV interview, and another article addressing that pesky St. Malachy prophecy.

2.  Quite a few people (including my OB/GYN) asked if I was upset about B16's decision.  Like many other Catholics, I was quite shocked, but understand.  When I saw him in person during my honeymoon in 2006, the pope already looked a bit tired.  His job has become so much more complicated in this age of the 24-hour news cycle, the fast flow of information, the ease of world travel, not to mention the secular issues the Church faces.  It's quite a lot for one person, let alone an 85-year-old man, to handle.  I trust he made his decision after lots of thought and prayer.  Besides, our president has gray hair after only 4 years in office, and he got the job at a much young age than B16.

3. I tried the MOPS group for the second time today.  The "mentor mom" gave a neat talk about keeping marriages strong. I really admire other Christian denominations for their zeal and fervor.  Still working on meeting other moms (it's a bit cliquey), but we'll see.

4.  In my area of the USA, the weather has changed about as quickly as fashion trends.  One day we need parkas, the next day, KB and I skip merrily in sweatshirts and jeans.  Then the next day, some snow arrives.  This is the fastest way to bring on Spring Fever!

5.  We had a very low-key Valentine's Day.  We always avoid the restaurants (even in the pre-children era), choosing instead to dine on Jimmy.John's.  And my sweet husband has become quite adept at picking GOOD chocolate, as in the kind without fruity fillings.

6.  Baby Boy is now at 29 weeks. He's kicking quite a bit these days, which makes me wonder if he will become a soccer player or boxer.  Thankfully, I still have the OK from my doctor to keep Irish dancing.  Perhaps he may learn a few moves!  This pregnancy has gone by much quicker than KB's, but it's been far more difficult than hers too.  Another chance to pray for the IF ladies.

Have a fabulous weekend!!  And since it's Friday and I'm craving meat.....

Finding Support

Another Friday, and another lack of Quick Takes.

Before I attempt to put pen to ink, or fingers to keyboard, please keep the following caveats in mind while reading this post: 1. I am immensely grateful for the gift of my little girl, baby boy, and Rachel (in heaven). My infertility journey has never left my mind. 2. My husband and I made the decision together to have me stay home with the kids. It is a hard job, but one we think is best for our particular family.

The reason for these caveats is because my post could come across as ungrateful and complaining. Rather, I hope to illustrate a gaping need in this point in my life as a newbie mom: the need for support.

Support groups (formal or informal) exist for a reason: some of the best support one can receive comes from others in the same situation or ordeal. This holds true for groups for cancer patients/survivors, AA, Celiac Diseas and the like. Teachers (or those married to one) best understand other teachers.  Youth ministers best understand fellow youth ministers.

Back in the early days of Infertility, I found it quite isolating. The advice and consolation of people who had endured it helped me tremendously. As more friends and acquaintances became aware of the situation, they became more empathetic. But there was always something extra special talking with someone who had traversed the same waters. My mom could still recall her feelings from going through IF 35+ years ago and knew very well of my hardship. Several other women from various circles (church, school, etc.) began to offer support and advice too. I started my blog and met other IF bloggers at various stages in their journey. And one of THE best resources, the SHE infertility group, took shape and form.

Then 2010 came, and life changed dramatically with the arrival of my baby girl. While a new baby isn’t a walk in the park, for the most part KB’s first year was pretty smooth. The baby carrier made going places easier, and there was no chasing involved in our errands. We were able to do more activities outside the home. She would sit through Mass contentedly.

A couple years later, the toddler years have really thrown me off the wagon. My experience with this age group is very lacking; I skillfully avoided babysitting kids under the age of 5 while in high school and never taught students younger than 3rd grade. I was 4 years old when my little sister was born and don’t remember much. So my only experience has been KB. (Lucky her, ha ha ha!)

But what’s beginning to happen is that life has REALLY changed. A typical day’s schedule is more rigid; nap times have become sacred. In addition, parenting has really started. Tantrums. Drama. Yadda Yadda.

I know a few moms of toddlers, but most of them work outside of the home. Quite a few other friends have cute babies that haven’t reached the same stage yet. I have been attending an excellent Bible Study at our local cathedral; but that has seen a huge decline in young women’s attendance. Most of the ladies in my small group are retired or have a daughter my age.

The lack of a supportive group of moms in the same stage has left a gaping hole.  The days of staying at home with a toddler can be challenging, as All You Who Hope can attest in her most recent blog post (and she has 2 toddlers, 1 newborn!).

So, a new mission has begun: it’s time to find some toddler moms for support and companionship. Perhaps 50 years ago this would have come in the form of a neighborhood full of kids, where the moms would help each other and offer the newbies advice. Or if we attended another Christian denomination, there would be a mom’s group. Sadly, most Catholic parishes tend to focus activities on school age children. My parish doesn’t have much that would help a mom, and if I suggested it to my pastor, he would tell me to start my own group (can’t blame him, but the timing is rather bad).

From what I can tell so far, the solution will be to find the right group. My spiritual director advised me to take these last couple months before Baby Boy arrives to research existing groups. Our local Cathedral has a moms’ group that also offers childcare. I've also checked out a Christian MOPS group. And there may be a few that surprise me.

This need has become so critical that I’m officially pulling back from just about every activity except for Irish Dancing and a couple other things. While a group may not solve everything, it will provide some relief when toddler tantrums leave me guessing. The first time a fellow IF survivor told me that she avoided baby showers during her journey, I felt so relieved. The IF support group provided a way for women to walk through a difficult period of life and come out as friends. I hope for the same camaraderie in this new stage of my life.

Time to grab some binoculars! 

Quick Takes Friday: Neverending Sinusinfection Edition

1.  Ah, the optimism of my last post.  Little did I know that KB would fall prey to croup, a viral infection I thought had disappeared years ago.  Let's just say I'm better informed now, especially after a Sunday afternoon visit to the local children's urgent treatment clinic. KB's fever is gone, but she is still coughing after two weeks.  I also learned another vital lesson: adults can't get croup (our airways are bigger), but they can catch the cold or infection.  Ergo, two weeks later I am walking around with a sinus infection.  Thankfully, my OB/GYN prescribed me a z-pack.  Hopefully health will return soon.  Everything last week went on hiatus: Bible study, Gymb.oree, any type of activity, even (gasp!) Irish dancing, and (obviously), blogging.

2.  I think the facial tissue corporations should personally thank me for keeping them in business.  This household has consumed a lion's share of tissues the past two weeks.  We also are running low on herbal tea.

3.  Some of the worst words to hear on a Thursday night, after a long day at work or caring for a sick child:
"The bathroom is flooded!" my friend announced.  I ran downstairs to find brown water (use your imagination) spewing out of the sink.  I sprinted back upstairs to deliver the unwelcome message to my hubby, who had barely sat down.  Despite the yuck, we were lucky.  The water never reached beyond our bathroom.  We also found a new respect for emergency plumbers who show up at 11pm at night!

4.  Les Miserables (the movie) surpassed my expectations after seeing the show three times on stage.  The always poignant melodies intertwined with the movie's cinematography.  I especially liked An.ne Hath.away and Hug.h Jack.man's performances.  While Russel Cro.we's singing wasn't the best, he definitely made a sinister Javert whom you love to hate.

Fr. Robert Baron has an excellent commentary on the Catholic themes found in Les Miserables.  The video has a few spoilers, so you may want to wait to view it until after the movie.  Special thanks to my parents for baby-sitting KB so my hubby and I could watch the long movie!!

5.  For the past 3 weeks, the fiancee of  a friend has stayed at our house for the past 3 weeks.  Not only has the extra company been welcome, her coming forced the household to re-evaluate the room situations.  We decided to relocate the guest room to the ground floor, making the present guest room the soon-to-be baby room.  This decision also involved excessive purging of junk in order to make the new guest room livable.

6.  Shoved To Them is hosting a unique campaign called "Dump the Frump."  The idea greatly appeals to me, as I notice a difference that a few touches of makeup and cute clothes can make.  I definitely feel more confident, even if a particular day's outings only consist of a wagon ride around the block and a trip to RiteAid.  My new favorite quick make-up goodies are Benefit's Fine-one-one stick and BellaBamba blush.  A little of each of those puppies goes a long way.

Have a great weekend, and please stay healthy!

KB now thinks that car doors are overrated, and attempts to enter her chic "Coz.y Cou.pe" in Dukes of Hazzard Style!

Happy New Year! and No Blogging fast here!

Well, my posting has been pathetic to say the least.  Like several other bloggers, I have posts floating in my head that never make the journey to the keyboard.

First of all, Merry Christmas (it's still the Christmas season, yo!) and Happy New Year!  This Advent I had the honor of praying for fellow blogger All Things. She is the new mom of a handsome little boy.  I hope to visit you in person sometime in 2013, J!  My Advent Prayer Buddy must have thought I have fallen off the face of the earth!  (P.S.  Thank you, Patiently Waiting, for your prayers!)

Second, in November, little Miss KB turned 2.  OH TWOODLES!  We held a small family party for her to celebrate the milestone.  She is a huge fan of Minn.ie Mou.se (note the Halloween costume).  Thanks to a crafty friend who made the charming invitations and banner, several Pin.terest recipes, and several Pin.terest ideas, the party went very well.  Way more low-key than her first birthday.

 Pink Lemonade cupcakes with chocolate wafers for ears.

(I can't move this to its proper orientation...grr!)

In other news, we found out in August (stop reading if you're having a bad IF day)....

Talk about a huge surprise.  We were literally on our last HCG cycle before the next NaPro visit.  Unfortunately, the news came 2 days before the layoffs at my husband's job.  Needless to say, between that worry and my constant fear of miscarriage, the first few weeks of pregnancy were tough.  I didn't realize just how much of an impact the miscarriage had left.  Last time, we told our parents after the home test, and the rest of the world after the ultrasound.  This time, we told our parents, a couple priests, and a close friend.  We waited until 12 weeks to announce the good news.  I'll write further in a future post of miscarriage's impact.  Thankfully, the same pro-life doctor who took care of us during the miscarriage is my OB for this pregnancy.

We are in awe of this gift and very blessed.  Still need prayers, and I'm still scared on how to handle a rambunctious toddler and newborn...but God will find a way. This pregnancy has been MUCH harder than my last one, so many prayers going up for you IF gals still waiting.

The week before Christmas, we went to the ultrasound to find out the gender of our baby.  Yeah, it was hard enough to wait those 20 weeks, I couldn't make it to 9 months!  After feeling in our hearts that this baby was a girl, we found out....

Yep, time to shop.  We have lots of pink.  And this blue outfit of KB's is a bit girly. Although my husband and I love John.ny Cash's songs, we're not naming our boy SUE. :)

That's all for now.  Because my next post will talk about Christmas ornaments, I better write that before Lent starts. :)

Yuletide Greetings (we love Shutterfly!)

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Thankful on this Thoughtful Thursday

Normally, Thoughtful Thursday is reserved for a profound or even pithy quote.  No such luck today, sorry!  I am immensely grateful for the kind and encouraging comments on my last post.  And TCIE had a great point: wouldn't it be neat to see Jesus as a toddler?  :)  Thanks for reading and encouraging me on the journey.

Toddlerhood is still challenging, but I'm finally learning a few things here and there.  And perhaps my last post didn't highlight the excitement, interaction, and discovery that this age brings.  Amid the tantrums and other difficult moments, the squeals of joy at a new activity make up for them.

Call Me Mama (hmm, sounds like a pop song parody? :) ) asked if I had read any books on toddlerhood.  So far, our go-to book for everything has been Toddler 411, which doesn't just cover discipline but also medical and emotional issues.  I also have been reading The Happiest Toddler on the Block, a follow-up to The Happiest Baby on the Block, which we used when KB was a little baby.

So far, The Happiest Toddler on the Block has some neat guiding principles when it comes to dealing with little ones.  I sort of prefer that to minute, nit-picky details.  After all, each child is different!

Today I came across this article on Faith and Family Live.  It discusses how parents may thrive at different stages of their children's lives.  Talk about a relief!  It's easy to feel guilty sometimes when a stage of childhood isn't fun or doesn't come natural.  And sometimes I have felt like a high school freshman trying to navigate the first day of school.  But considering I was never around a lot of babies (unlike my husband, who was 13 when his little sister was born), at least I've survived so far!!! :)

A couple weeks ago I had to take KB with me to Irish Dance class while my husband went to a funeral visitation.  I was surprised to see KB try to follow me and mimic some of the movement (not the footwork! It's complicated!).  She smiled and giggled too.  I danced with her in utero up until the 8th month of pregnancy, so hopefully some kind of love for dance got passed on to her!!

And speaking of things that get passed on to kids, check out my little girl at St.arbux.  She stole my stole my smoothie!

The blogging Gap and the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

"Have you seen my Mommy's blog? I think it disappeared!"

Ah, the gap in posts has become ever wider. What started out as a brief blogging break in the summer stretched further than I wanted. Well, today follows the feast day of one of my favorite saints, St. Therese of Liseux, and therefore great day to begin again.

First, let me start with the good. This summer my husband and I went away for our anniversary and hosted numerous friends and family at our house. We also watched in great joy as 2 IF friends adopted baby girls. Longtime readers of this blog (if there are any of you left!) might remember Blood Test Buddy, my faithful companion during our many rounds of blood tests for our NaPro doctor. Blood Test Buddy gave birth to a baby girl (after 6 years of trying) on my birthday!! What an awesome gift. I celebrated a low-key 35th birthday as well.

But then came some bad. My husband’s company laid off almost 600 workers at the end of August. Thankfully his job is safe for now, but it was a very terrifying time. He also had to watch several of his talented coworkers lose their jobs.

Right around this time, my support system started to crumble. Our dear friends at our parish who have been like a mentor family decided to attend another parish…and fall out of touch (the exception was blogger friend K, who helped me on a couple difficult nights!). Close friends who were normally available became busy (rightfully so) with new babies. Other friends just kind of forgot. And might I add, with the loss of Gymb.oree, I lost the companionship of moms with kids the same age. These days, I seem to end up at events with parents who have cute, cuddly babies (who don't say "NO") who end up gaping in horror at the antics of my toddler.

And the UGLY. My sweet little girl’s entrance into the Terrible Twos has started early. There are many reasons why this was so jarring: I have never spent much time around toddlers before (I only teach Grade 2 or above); KB had been a very laid-back, docile baby; being at home makes things harder.

And to boot, I've been very embarrassed to blog about this turmoil. After all, this blog began as an INFERTILITY blog. Having a child was something I desperately wanted. In addition, I have the opportunity to stay at home with her full time, knowing that several friends would give anything to do the same but can’t. (Note: I respect working moms who support their families! It is their decision and they do not deserve to be condemned).

After a while, I did think more about the issue. We all know friends or family members who have pursued careers in medicine, teaching, or law, which require years of preparation. Such professionals often have bad days, but it doesn’t cause us to admonish them mockingly, “but THIS is what you wanted!” The voice inside my head often says that to me, after a long day of chasing a toddler who throws a tantrum at the word “no.” Some days are better than others, of course. Thankfully, talking to a good amount of mothers (including my own mom and mother-in-law) affirmed that toddlerhood is both an exciting and challenging time. That I wasn’t the only one who got very little out of Sunday Mass because most of it was spent wrestling. Or that tantrums (especially public ones) were normal but required consistency. “Do you remember some of your most difficult students?” asked my mom. “Just imagine how they were as toddlers!” Talk about incentive!

What has changed a bit, however, are my coping tactics. We switched our gym membership to the local Y as its kids’ club is fantastic. Even if all I can muster is 30 minutes on the elliptical, that still gives me about an hour of “me time” and KB an hour of play in the kids’ club. We've also started “take a break Sundays” when we attend another parish once a month who offers a nursery during Mass. It’s nice to have a chance to concentrate on Mass. My husband has been wonderful about shooing me out of the house when I've had a long day at home. He will take one look at my tired face and tell me to go to Sta.rbucks. J I’m also going to check out a local Mom’s group at a neighboring parish.

I hope some of my words make sense. As I've often stated on this blog, IF has many effects that stay with you for a long time. And toddlerhood REALLY surprised me after a smooth babyhood. And who knows what adventures lie in store for us. Right now, I’m trying to take one day and one prayer at a time.

Wordless Wednesday: Hi, Mary!

Quick Takes Friday: Is it August Already Edition

1.  My friend K sent me this blog post about God and heartbreak.  Since I'm still working through some miscarriage grief, the words really gave me insight.  I hope it will help you too. Part I and Part II.

2.  I thought once the Mass was over, sorrow of the loss of our baby would be lessened.  Instead, it has shown up in random places.  Back in March we ran into a mutual friend at the OB office (did this ever happen to you for an IF ultrasound?).  She was there to find out the gender of her baby.  We were there to find out if we even had a baby.  Fast forward to July; she gave birth to her baby last week and for some reason it really bothered me.  Not in a jealous, "how dare you" way, but a wave of sadness.

3.  Thankfully, K assured me such feelings are normal.  I was about ready to call the men in white coats to get me.  She also told me something rather logical, but nonetheless profound: Grief has no timetable.

4.  We had a wonderful anniversary weekend last week.  KB did great with my inlaws and we enjoyed just relaxing.  On Sunday we rented a small fishing boat and rode around the lake.  We almost had to call for help when I went swimming but couldn't get back into the boat that was sans ladder.  Thankfully, I eventually got up there!

5.  KB has been getting into musical instruments lately.  We always let her play the piano (she kinda looks bluesy in this picture), but she's also taken to the toy drum and xylophone.  My husband and I are very musical, so we hope this trend continues.  OK, we hope the interest in music continues.  We're not sure if we want a percussionist in the family this early.

6.  To end the Quick Takes on a lighter note, Word On Fire has a fun post about potential players on the Vatican's Olympic team. :)  I just love watching the Olympics, don't you?

Happy Friday!

Marriage Meme in place of quick takes

Happy Friday, Blogosphere. In lieu of Quick Takes this week, I have a fun marriage meme that was copied from other esteemed bloggers who did the same on their anniversaries.  My husband and I will celebrate 6 years of marriage this Sunday. (!) Time flies. 

1. Where/how did you meet: We met on CatholicMatch.com (then called StRaphael.net) in the Spring of 2002.  We met in person for the first time in October of that same year. 

2. How long have you known each other: 10 years…wow!

3. How long after you met did you start dating: Because our relationship started on the internet, we were friends for a few months.  We made it official on New Years’ Eve 2002

4. How long did you date before you were engaged: about 2.5 years.  I was definitely sweating those last 6 months, wondering if he would ever pop the question!

5. How long was your engagement: 11 months

6. How long have you been married: 6 years

7. What is your anniversary: July 29

8. How many people came to your wedding reception: 150

9. What kind of cake did you serve: Typical tiered wedding cake; every layer was chocolate or vanilla.  We didn’t want any fruity filling!

10. Where was your wedding: We had a beautiful Nuptial Mass at St. Mary’s, Sacra.mento.  Our reception was held at a nearby hotel.

11. What did you serve for your meal: It was a buffet.  I barely got to eat anything, so any memories would be based on the taste-testing the previous December. 

12. How many people were there in your bridal party: 5 bridesmaids, 4 groomsmen.  My husband’s brother, a priest, concelebrated the Mass.

13. Are you still friends with them all: yes, although I keep in closer contact with the bridesmaids.

14. Did you or your spouse cry during the ceremony?  He got a bit teary-eyed when he saw me walk down the aisle.  I teared up here and there, especially when my dad and brother played “The Wedding Song.”

15. Most special moment of your wedding day: So many family and friends came from far away to attend the wedding.  That touched me the most!  Other than that, the entire Nuptial Mass was so moving.  :)

16. Any funny moments: Before walking down the aisle, I discovered my veil wasn’t over my face yet.  A bridesmaid had to hastily help me.  Then my dad said, “Oh yeah, I was supposed to ask if you were really sure about this.  I can tell you are!”  I had to throw the bouquet twice at the reception.  The first time it hit the ceiling.

17. Any big disasters: I forgot to leave directions to the reception, so a few out of town guests got lost en route. Also, my husband and I agreed to exchange cards instead of gifts.  I was so busy catching up with friends who arrived the night before that I forgot to write a card.  That caused an awkward moment on the way to the reception. 

18. Where did you go on your honeymoon: Rome and Venice.  Our priest got us “Sposa Novelli” tickets to the papal audience too!

19. How long where you gone: 14 days

20. If you were to do your wedding over, what would you change: I would have let my husband see me before the wedding and get our photos done more quickly.  And somehow made sure we got to eat more food than we actually did!  I also should have gotten a spray tan!

21. What side of the bed do you sleep on: the right (closest to the door and bathroom)

22. What size is your bed: King

23. Greatest strength as a couple: We’re best friends.  Because the first part of our relationship was long distance, we talk easily to one another (assuming tiredness or a bad day are not involved!).

24. Greatest challenge as a couple: Surviving infertility and our recent miscarriage.  Also, keeping open the lines of communication.

25. Who literally pays the bills: my husband.  He likes math.  He keeps me in the loop. Sometimes he has to help me with basic calculations.

26. What is your song: We like different types of music, so if there is one I could pick that describes us as a couple, it’s “I Will Be There” by Steven Curtis Chapman.

27. What did you dance your first dance to: “You Raise Me Up” by Jos.h Gr.oban.  We even did a choreographed dance (ballroom dance lessons) and my husband forgot most of the moves when we started! We still had fun.

28. Describe your wedding dress: it was the third one I tried on at the store!  White with spaghetti straps, a sweeping roching to the side, beautiful beading at the top.

29. What kind of flowers did you have at your wedding: a lot of roses in honor of St. Therese, the Little Flower.  My cousin also added touches of blue flowers to compliment the white and pink roses.

30. Are your wedding bands engraved? Nope.

First Time Away

For the first time in almost 20 months, my husband and I will go away for the weekend without our little girl.  By ourselves.  Really.  I wish our destination was this lovely SoCal train station, but finances have kept us on our side of the country.  :)


Our 6th (!) anniversary will occur on Sunday, and we feel it's time to get away by ourselves.  We're both rather hesitant about spending 2 nights away from KB, but see the big picture.  Now that we work hard on a daily basis to raise a toddler who has become very VERY independent, our energy is depleted faster.  It's easy to let simple things such as reading, talking, etc. go by the wayside and veg in front of the TV night after night.  We decided that now is the time to reconnect and relax by ourselves and return as a happier, refreshed couple!  Not that we're sad or resentful of KB in our lives; we just need to recharge.  I'm sure that first night we will search the cabin for the baby monitor by force of habit. We purposefully picked a cabin at a nearby lake.  Plenty of time for reading, relaxing, going to Mass by ourselves, and (I hope) kayaking.

I think getaways like this are very important.  When we went through our own IF journey, getaways helped me relax and take my mind off TTC and life's everyday tasks at home.  Now that we are finally parents and navigating the arduous TTC process again, I hope the downtime will help me regain proper perspective (this past week there were a TON of pregnancy announcements).  I think KB, who will be in the capable hands of my wonderful in-laws, will become even cuter while we're gone.

Quick Takes Friday: Thunder Edition

Welcome to this edition of Quick Takes, which comes on the heels of a massive storm that hit our area.  But that was not as cool as this blogger's 1/2 rain, 1/2 dry yard. 

1.  Major congrats are in order to this lovely blogger, whose second son will arrive at her home very soon!!  Adoption is AWESOME!  Grace In My Heart has been such an inspiration to me, both as a mom and one who has waited on the Lord.

2.  This past weekend, KB and I met up with my 8th grade teacher who flew to our state for a conference.  My teacher taught me so much, spiritually and academically.  She even traveled to my wedding six years ago and brought up the gifts at our Nuptial Mass.  It's not often that one has an opportunity to verbally appreciate a mentor from childhood.

3.  Another visitor from the West Coast came as well: Fr. Blaise, who officiated at our wedding six years ago.  Our home was among the many stops of his motorcycle ride through the Midwest before heading back to California.  Not only did he get to meet Katie Beth (who tried out his motor cycle and didn't like it too much), he also offered Mass in our home (!).  We enjoyed catching up on life and trying to convince him to stay longer next time.

Vroom, Vroom!  Hmmm, riding a motorcycle with a baby doll is probably not a good idea.

4.  Last week I posted an article from the Word on Fire Blog about a priest who learned many lessons from surgery.  Here is part two of his excellent series. 

5.  Slowly, ever so slowly, I am attempting to reach my goal of losing 10% of my starting weight since embarking on Wei.ght W.atchers in February.  My hope is to become more healthy, but also prepare my body for a possible future pregnancy.  Just a few pounds to go, but too many treats to avoid, such as this highly addictive item from a restaurant that happens to have a very good kids' menu:

I KNOW you put crack in these cookies, Chick.fi.lA!  No one can resist the gooey goodness!

6.  Once again, we are looking forward to hosting Joy Beyond the Cross and her family this weekend.  I hope it is the first of many future in-person blogger meet ups!  My husband now identifies various blogger friends by their blog names, and he'll often ask if I've met them in person.  He's starting to learn some of your names. :) 

Happy Friday!  For more quick takes, go here!

Quick Takes Friday: Friday the 13th Edition (Ooooh, Scary!)

1.  It's Friday the 13th!  Big deal.  God is way above superstition!  Check out His handiwork in last night's sunset.  My i.pod camera didn't do it justice...

2.  I recently read an incredible article about suffering.  The priest who wrote it brought out many good points, along with acknowledging that some of the "why does this happen?" questions will never be answered.

3.  After story time at our local library, KB and I perused the shelves.  OK, what that really means is that I rapidly pushed the stroller to look at books on my eye level while trying to keep her from pulling stuff off the shelves.  The most interesting book we found was this galactic publication: 

(I wonder what kind of research went into this cookbook!)

4.  KB has become quite the climber.  Already she has escaped the confines of her crib and Pack.N.Play; she can climb up and down on ALL the beds in the house; and even climb into a chair at the kitchen table.  All it takes is for Mom to turn her head for 0.1 seconds.  Earlier this week she figured out how to walk on a piece of play equipment like a balance beam.  Is it time to think about the Olympics? 

5.  In late June, I assured my husband that July would be a relatively quiet month.  In fact, I secretly lamented the absence of an extended vacation.  As luck would have it, we have awesome visitors coming to town in the next couple weeks.  THREE of them are longtime friends of MINE.  Most of the people who fit that category live on the West Coast.  Tonight I'm having dinner with my 8th grade teacher.  On Sunday, the priest who officiated our wedding is staying at our house.  On Monday, a longtime friend and his family will be in my home city.  Such an influx of longtime friends is very rare since I live in the Midwest.  Yea!

And to add more wonderfullness, a Wisconsin blogger and her family will be staying at our house the following weekend!! I have not met any of the IF bloggers in person yet, so I'm very excited to hang out with Marie and the B family.

Yep, July isn't as quiet. I kinda like it that way.

6. For NFP awareness week, my husband and I are going to give a short testimony at the end of our Sunday Mass.  It will be a bit nerve wracking, but we hope that more people will become aware of NFP's benefits.  Already we determined it would NOT be a good idea to bring KB with us up to the ambo/lectern.  We had visions of her grabbing the microphone...

7.  Finally, a wonderful friend in Nebraska sent this comic. I think of all of my Southern friends, especially Sew, who would appreciate this.  Happy Friday!

For more Quick Takes, go here!

Wordless Wednesday

Quick Takes: Extra EXTRA Crispy Edition

1. Need I say more?  This summer weather has been sort of deja vu for me.  Growing up in California, we often had triple digit heat along with water restrictions.  The sight of brown grass along Interstate 5 was commonplace.  When I moved to the Midwest, rainstorms in the summertime utterly scandalized me...until I realized they calm the air and water the grass.  I could tell that an evolution in my weather outlook has taken place: yesterday, a severe thunderstorm warning filled me with glee.  (it never rained...darn it!0

The hot weather makes it difficult to take KB to normal fun activities (park, arboretum, playground, etc.) so we're going to the same places.

2. KB has become quite the independent 20-month-old (!).  She has learned to say "no" (and mean it) and knock our hands away when my husband or I try to help her. We're definitely entering a new phase of parenting.  I ride a roller coaster of emotions on a daily basis: awe at her progress, fear of her climbing expertise, annoyance that she won't let me help her with some things, anger when whining and tantrums reach the boiling point...Quite a ride indeed.

3.  I think All You Who Hope's most recent post addresses so much of my feelings with our possible secondary infertility.  She reminds us to look at the gifts God has given us now.  I definitely need to do this, as even now I look wistfully and jealously at pregnant women who are around the same size I would have been had Rachel lived.

4.  Every week I listen to Fr. Robert Barron, the founder of Word On Fire and the mastermind behind the Catholicism series.  He records a podcast homily for the coming Sunday.  Since we don't always get a deep, meaty homily at our parish, Fr. Barron's homilies fill in the void.  Some of his homilies are so profound, I have to listen to them twice! This week's homily is a real gem, as it address suffering.

5.  See this lovely jar?  It may have an innocent sounding title.  In reality, every spoonful of this cookie butter is like cr.ack!  It's so addictive!  Not even my best of diet intentions can resist!

6.  Speaking of the diet front, I have now lost 20lbs (praise God!).  I'm hoping to make it 30 by September, but we'll see.  Carrying around a 24-lbs toddler is a good reminder of how my body feels carrying extra weight. :(

7. To end the week on a funny note, I couldn't resist the Mup.pets' spoof on the Hun.ger Gam.es: 

Happy Friday!  For more Quick Takes, go here! 

Quick Takes: Extra Crispy Edition

1.  Yowzer! A heat wave has hit most of the Midwest and beyond.  Thankfully, KB and I have been going to our local Y almost every afternoon to swim in the blissfully cool water.  My mom wisely suggested equipping my little fish with a floatie, as she delights in scurrying in and out of the pool.  I'm getting a workout chasing after her!  However, KB is becoming more comfortable in the water, which has been my goal all along.

2.  We had a delightful two-week visit with my parents.  It was so difficult to see them go, as I had gotten used to the normalcy of their presence and extra hands to help with KB!  However, the one thing that extreme distance from family does is force us to work hard at staying in touch instead of becoming complacent. 

3.  During my parents' visit, we went to an indoor garden/conservatory that hosted an annual butterfly show.  One area of the conservatory is completely sealed off so the butterflies can fly freely.  I particularly enjoyed getting a closer look at the enchanting Monar.ch Butt.erfly.

4.  The Cathedral in my diocese recently opened its newly built perpetual adoration chapel.  The architecture and decor are simply stunning and add so much to the presence of the Blessed Sacrament.  Talk about a peaceful and gorgeous prayer atmosphere.  Blood Test Buddy's brother designed it too. :)  

5.  To better aid in keeping in touch with family and taking more photos, I bought the new iPod Touch thanks to a Mothers' Day gift.  It has a camera and camcorder to capture more of KB's moments.  To help me keep track of the iPod and protect it from a certain toddler's hands, I bought a hot pink Otter.box cover now dubbed "the Pin.k Pan.ther."  Not only can the device send photos instantly, I can also Fa.ce Ti.me or iCh.at with my parents and siblings as long as I'm on a wireless network. 

6.  In the always "enthralling" cycle department, we have just finished our 4th cycle of HCG.  No luck yet. :( We have about one or two months left of HCG, and then another visit to the NaPro doctor will be in order. 

7.  Trad.er Jo.es has finally opened in my city!  Yea!  Yes, that makes Quick Takes news in my world.  With the recent arrival of Jam.ba Ju.ice, having more of my favorite West Coast chains have brought a taste of home to my area.  I'm sure many ex-Californians came to the grand opening today.  I often meet them at the mall's Se.e's Can.dies display at Christmas.  

Stay cool out there and eat lots of ice cream! 

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